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HOW & WHY
It’s all in your subconscious
As Jen herself says, “my subconscious made me do it!” Jen really emphasises the role our subconscious plays in every decision we make. She describes it as the blueprint for our life and essentially makes up everything we consider to be our beliefs.
The interesting part is that we are essentially completely oblivious to the subconscious beliefs, despite the fact that they run our lives. No matter what we do or how we do it, our subconscious minds and beliefs are controlling us, they run the show.
Be in the moment
Jen emphasises the importance of embracing the moment and being present. Doing this will let you lead a richer, joy-filled life.
”Being present gets you out of your head and connects you to Source Energy, which raises your frequency, which attracts things of like frequency to you. And all of those high-frequency things and experiences are already here, just waiting for you to join the party, all you have to do is shut up, show up, and usher them in.”
It’s pretty clear that Jen is not a fan of the ego. She describes it as a false self, the self that’s essentially being an asshole. It really only acts so sabotage our lives, our happiness. And usually, it rears it’s ugly head only because deep down, we don’t feel worthy.
Jen refers to the Ego is the ‘Big Snooze’ – because she believes that if our egos are acting up, its because we are still asleep and haven’t yet realised how amazing we are and how wonderful the universe is.
The ego limits your beliefs, it’s based on fear and is the reason we don’t step outside our comfort zones, it constantly holds you back and restricts you from doing the things you want to do the most.
Jen compares your ego to what she calls your true self or your ‘superhero self’. The part that is based on love and joy, allows you to be proactive and productive and believes that your potential is limitless, you can do and be whatever you want.
”The Big Snooze will do everything it can to stop you from changing and growing, especially since you’re attempting to obliterate the very identity that you and everyone else has come to know as ‘you.’”
Jen’s steps to taking control back, preventing the ugly ego are;
- stop at nothing
- have faith
- stay on course, no matter what happens
- believe that you are awesome
BE A BADASS, EMBRACE IT!
You have to love yourself
Jen prioritise the concept of loving yourself, how can you be unhappy when you truly love yourself?
Here are Jen’s top tips for self-love:
- Appreciate how special you are
- Drown yourself in affirmations
- Do things you love
- Ditch the self-deprecating humour
- Let the love in
- Don’t compare yourself to others
- Forgive yourself!
Who cares what they think?
We’ve all heard it before, but Jen really pushes the idea that you have got to stop worrying about what everybody thinks of you. Who cares what they think? You do you and celebrate it. Living in fear that we might not meet other people’s expectations only leaves you miserable and scared of doing the things you love.
Jen emphasises that you cannot control what people think or do, the only thing you can control is what YOU say and do. People’s opinions of you say more about them than it does you. Stay true to yourself!
The journey to happiness
Jen reminds us that although we all have different journeys and paths, ultimately, we all have the same destination in mind; happiness.
Her steps to finding this happiness are;
- Start NOW. Don’t waste time worrying about whether what your doing is right, just make the first move!
- Find what you’re good at, and do it!
- Don’t necessarily mix it up too much. If you love it, don’t question it, you don’t have to be different.
- Remember that we all evolve, you don’t necessarily have only one true calling, you can change career paths. It’s OK.
- Follow your intuition.
- Allow yourself to dream, and follow your dreams.
- Most importantly: love yourself.
TAKE IT FURTHER!
Something that Jen highly recommends is meditation. So many people worry about how to meditate, have you done it for long enough? Were you in the right position? Did your mind wander too much?
Jen suggests you stop worrying about how you’re doing it and just start meditating. There’s no right or wrong. But she reckons, that starting, will change your life. So give it a go!
Change your thinking
”Positive thinking is key. Our thoughts are the most powerful tools we’ve got. Through our thoughts we create our realities.”
Jen says that it’s only after you change your thinking, that things change. We often sit here thinking that if only something changes, then we’ll be able to be more positive. But really, you have to think positively FIRST, then changes will over. Trust the process and believe you can.
”If you want to attract good things and feelings into your life, send awesomeness out to everyone around you. It can be as simple as leaving a dollar more than you normally would every time you tip. Or smiling, complimenting people and making them laugh.”
Gratitude, Jen describes, as much more than just manners or niceties, it’s a state of being. She credits feeling awesome to being in a state of gratitude. Not only does it make you feel good, but it actually strengthens your faith.
”Faith is having the audacity to believe in the not-yet seen. It is the muscle you use when you decide to blast outside of your comfort zone and transform your life into something that’s practically unrecognizable to you in your present reality. Faith smothers your fear of the unknown. It allows you to take risks. Faith is the stuff of “leap and the net will appear.”
Forgive or Fester
We all know that forgiveness is hard, but Jen identifies forgiveness, as an act of looking after yourself, it’s not at all about the person you need to forgive. By allowing yourself to eliminate the negative feelings you may have had, it means you put yourself first and allow yourself to be happy and free from those thoughts. Don’t hold onto feelings of anger, resentment or hurt, you have to let go and move on. Don’t let someone else be responsible for your happiness.
” It’s about putting your desire to feel good before your desire to be right. It’s about taking responsibility for your own happiness instead of pretending it’s in somebody else’s hands. “
HOW TO GET OVER YOUR OWN B.S
We get to choose and experience our own reality, it comes down to making a choice Jen describes, making a choice to create a life you want to live, let go of things that don’t serve you well, any negativity or pessimism, and change your reality to one filled with joy and happy experiences.
”Most of the time it’s not lack of experience that’s holding us back, but rather the lack of determination to do what we need to do to be successful. We put so much energy into coming up with excuses why we can’t be, do, or have the things we want, and designing the perfect distractions to keep us from our dreams—imagine how far we’d get if we just shut up and used all that energy to go for it instead?”
Jen highlights procrastination as one of the key ways you constantly self-sabotage. Procrastination is simply another way to let excuses get in the way of what you really want. If you are serious about living a better life, you have to stop procrastinating.
”All it takes to turn the fear factor around is learning to be comfortable in, instead of terrified of, the unknown. And this is done through faith. On the other side of your fear is your freedom.”
Jen explains that those who you consider the closest to you, are essentially a mirror of yourself, they reflect how much (or little) you love and respect yourself.
”Your reality is created by what you focus on and how you choose to interpret it. This goes for everything, including the things you focus on about the people in your world.”
Jen believes that people come into your life for a reason, and you into theirs for a reason. You need to see how you can help them grow and develop as a person and how they can help you in return. Seek the beauty in people, and they will seek and celebrate the beauty in you.
GET OUT THERE AND KICK ASS
You have to make a decision
Jen emphasises that too often, we don’t make the tough decisions. We sit back and don’t commit. But by making a decision, it’s signing yourself up, making a commitment, to doing everything you can, to reach your goal. If you don’t make the decision to start now, you’ll never actually start. So commit, decide, and follow your dreams.
”So often, we pretend we’ve made a decision, when what we’ve really done is signed up to try until it gets too uncomfortable. Nobody gets to the top of the mountain without falling on his face over and over again. The only failure is quitting. Everything else is just gathering information.”
Jen acknowledges, that in today’s world – if you really want to do something big, make drastic changes and better your life, you’re likely going to have to spend some money. Whether it’s money you’ve been saving up, getting a loan, racking up a credit card bull or borrowing from friends and family, do it. Do whatever it takes to change your life. It’s scary when it means parting with money but it’s about having faith in the process and following your dreams.
”This is about taking a leap of faith into a new realm that you strongly desire to be in, demanding of yourself that you rise to the occasion and start living your damn life already.”
Jen emphasises the importance of balancing the strength of your faith versus your fear, you have to have faith in the universe, and that has to outweigh your fear of failure. Essentially, in the words of Jen, you need to surrender to the universe.
“Too often, we think that we need to try and take charge of the situation (fear based thinking) instead of having faith and gratitude and allowing The Universe to deliver (love based thinking). In short, we think we can do a better job of manifesting than The Universe can.”
Jen discusses how too often, people want change, they can invest in it, both time and money, but they still don’t follow through and make things happen. Jen recognises, that obviously, the people that don’t follow through, didn’t really want is as much as they said they did.
You have to be willing to step outside of your comfort zone, take risks, and continue to follow through if you want to reap the benefits. Challenge yourself, grow and develop, always be moving forward, never stay stationary, never get comfortable.
“Keep moving through each new challenge instead of stagnating and settling. The muscle of kick-assery is like any other muscle—you have to use it or lose it.”
Jen’s final words.
”Give yourself the permission and the means, to be who you are REGARDLESS OF WHAT ANYBODY ELSE THINKS OR BELIEVES IS POSSIBLE.”
”You are powerful. You are loved. You are surrounded by miracles. Believe, really believe that what you desire is here and available to you. And you can have it all.”
- Don’t let your ego get in the way.
- Always be positive
- Surround yourself with people who reflect you well
- Love yourself
- Forgive others, don’t hold on to anger
- Don’t worry about what other people think about you
- Always have gratitude
- Don’t let money hold you back, get it wherever you can
- Just start now, take the first step to transforming your life!
Shout out to Paul Minors from paulminors.com for doing this written summary
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