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Kick Ass with Mel Robbins: Life-Changing Advice from the Author of “The 5 Second Rule” Audible Audiobook
Session #1:
She doesn’t believe that people figure out what brings them joy because they have an epiphany
People figure out what brings them joy because they force themselves to follow their curiosity, to try, to learn
Takeaways:
Quitting. We all have ways of quitting when things get hard or when we just don’t feel motivated to push ourselves
Identifying negative patterns as a form of quitting is a powerful step that’s going to help you stop these patterns
Addiction. Addictions are just forms of habit dysfunctions
What makes it hard is that there is so much emotion tied up in the things that we do that are destructive
All habits have a trigger and a behavior pattern that you repeat
“If-Then Planning Strategy”: Make a plan for what you will be doing for every one of these triggers instead of the addiction
Childhood strategies. We’ve all develop strategies when we were kids in order to deal with the situations that were upsetting or abusive
Session #2: Marcus, former NFL player
Become yourself and fully own it
For the rest of your life, be on the hunt for where you are trying to be someone you’re not. Be on the hunt for where insecurity is taking you out of your lane
Takeaways:
Be on the hunt for wherever you are not owning your unique story
Your real power is in telling your story
Your credentials may help when you’re starting out, but over time your power is never in your credentials
It’s in you: your story, your instincts, and the unique things you bring to the table
The power of time travel
Travel forward two years, envision where you want to be, and then list out all of the thinking and behavior patterns that you’ve changed
Bring that all back to the present day and start shifting your thinking and behavior now to align with the patterns from the future you
Ask yourself: what in my life came easy or energized me?
That’s where you start if you don’t know what direction to head in
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Session #3: Jessie, who struggles to lose weight
Takeaways:
The secret to improving your relationship with anybody:
Take the focus off of you and put it on everyone else
How? Start cheering for people
If you have a problem that you have been trying to fix forever and you’re not making any progress like Jessie and her weight loss, maybe you don’t have any interest in fixing it at all
Maybe it’s not a problem and you’re really just using it as an excuse to not take responsibility
To make change simple and fun, one tool is naming the old chapter that you’re stuck in versus the new chapter that you want to step into
Session #4: Evelyn, trouble with procrastination
Takeaways:
Procrastination has nothing to do with your ability to get things done, it’s just a form of stress relief
You have to understand that stress is the problem and you have to get to the root
The power of focusing on what happened rather than on what’s wrong with you
Session #5: Steven, paralyzed by what other people think
When you live fully open in your truth, if people react negatively, it’s their bullshit (responsibility/ fault)
Takeaways:
Ask yourself: are there patterns that you learned from the adults in your childhood that you’re still repeating that doesn’t work for you?
Seeing the destructive behavior as a pattern is the first step to owning it and ultimately ending it
A tool you can use to destroy the pattern, “shut up Sharon”
Exaggerate and make the negative things you say to yourself into a character
When you turn old behaviors into a caricature, you actually remove your emotion and drama and heaviness around it, and it makes the behavior more objective
It’ll help you not only identify the old behaviors but to also move into the new behaviors more quickly
Manipulation. If you live your life in a way where you avoid upsetting people at all cost so you keep quiet, that’s a form of manipulation
If you hate confrontation so you don’t tell the truth about how you’re feeling, that’s a form of manipulation
When you manipulate people, you are responsible when they get upset if they find out the truth
But if you have the courage to say what you’re feeling or to tell them what’s true for you, when they get upset or they react negatively, it’s on them
Having the courage and the clarity to just be yourself, that’s what it means to be truly fabulous
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Session #6: Kyle, bent on finding love, growing his business, and making a difference in people’s lives
Takeaways:
If you were somebody that’s trying hard but you feel like you’re just not making any headway, she guarantees there something you cannot see or are refusing to see
We need to slow down and tune in to the emotions that are in there. In order to see the problem, you’re going to have to slow down
Any single, destructive habit that you have, it is also a mask for pain
Embrace and be proud of where you are at right now
The moment you take responsibility for your past, that’s really important
But it is also essential that you take pride in how far you’ve come
You’ll gain freedom and control back in your life the second you start feeling proud of where you are
Session #7: Terra, looking for love for 40 years
Takeaways:
All relationships are the same, friendships, work relationships, with your family, your lover
We’re all the same because we all want the same thing
We all want to know that we matter
When you make people feel like they matter, you will win in any relationship
In the area of your life where you are being your best self, in those relationships, that’s what we’re going to use to help you change how you’re behaving in the cruddy relationship
All you have to do is adopt that best-self character everywhere
You need to intentionally take a moment and switch gears into the best-self person you want to be in that relationship
Assume good intent. When the people in your life piss you off and you feel frustrated, before you snap, assume good intent
Power versus connection. This is the only thing that you ever need to know about relationships
You’re either craving power or you’re craving connection at any moment.
The only relationships that are truly satisfying that go the distance are ones where both crave connection
Session #8: Ashlyn, struggling with self-acceptance and self-love
Takeaways:
You can love someone and still be angry at them
You can be afraid of disappointing somebody and still make requests of them
Be honest about where in your life you feel numb because that’s where the roots are
Ask yourself: where is your kid or any child in your life completely checked out. Where are you missing potential signs?
The idea of celebration
Celebration is critical for a healthy life
Transparency. You won’t be able to kick ass until you own your story
When you own your story, that’s where all the power lies
It’s only when you’re transparent about your past that you have the power to own and change the future
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