Ieva Kambarovaite: How to Get Laid Now Book Summary





Chapter 1: The Reasons You Are Not Getting Laid

1 You Do Not Approach Women

You spend too much time on your phone, you are not present, and you are oblivious to your surroundings. You spend more time texting than talking to someone face to face.

 2 You give Too Many Fucks

  • You worry too much what she is going to think about you.
  • Mark Manson presents a refreshing way of looking at meaningless things in your life.
  • “The ability to reserve our fucks for only the most fuckworthy of situations would surely make life a hell of a lot easier. Failure would be less terrifying. Rejection less painful. Unpleasant necessities more pleasant”

3 You Do Not Try New Things

  • As much as you think you like excitement, fun, and new experiences, you are probably a person of habit.
  • Go and approach a woman you find interesting and attractive.
  • To make a big change in your life you only need to do small things. Change one habit and you will be surprised to see all the amazing things happening in your life.

4 You think All women Are the Same

You want to be around a lady who can enrich your life. A woman that is interesting, fun, adventurous, fierce, and honest.

 5 You Hang Around the Wrong People

  • You need to get out of your own way, get rid of old beliefs, and make new friends. Go and hang around someone who has fun going out and meeting new people.
  • I want you to understand that if you only hang around the guys that are single and hardly ever talk to women, you are going to stay just like them. Do you know that you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with? These people have a tremendous influence on your everyday activities, thoughts, beliefs, the way you see your life, and those around you.
  • You cannot achieve different results if you keep doing the same thing over and over.

 6 You Are Not Confident

Believe in yourself and understand that you are interesting. There are so many ladies out there that cannot wait to meet a man like you, but they do not know about you because you never come and talk to them.


Chapter 2: Be a Desirable Man

1 Grooming

Cut Your Nails, Fix Your Eyebrows, Smell Nice and Dress Nice.

2 Stand Out

  • The way you approach a woman can make you a more memorable man.
  • Next time you are at the bar and you see a woman that you find attractive, simply go and introduce yourself, giving her a handshake. While you do that look straight into her eyes. Ask her name. Don’t stand too close to her. Give her some space.
  • No matter what you do, remember to have fun. Don’t take yourself too seriously.

3 Get a Hobby

  • Firstly, it is a great way to meet people. It does not necessarily have to be women. It is important for you to have a strong support system and be surrounded by male friends that can encourage and inspire you. A hobby is a perfect tool for that. Not only are you getting a set of new skills, but you are also part of a community. A hobby enriches your life.
  • An important thing to mention is that you should always stay truthful to yourself. Never take up a new activity solely because you want to meet women. That will kill all the fun. You should only do it because you want to have fun, you want to learn new things, and you want to be good at something.

 4 Network

  • Start talking to people. Network with people from work.
  • Another way to meet more people is getting involved in your local community.
  • Think of the cause you are passionate about, contact an organization and improve someone’s life, get involved into local activities, or help to raise money for a charity close to your heart.
  • When a woman hears a man talk about volunteering, serving others, and doing something meaningful, she thinks of him as a loving and caring person, someone who will treat her in a similar manner. A woman is attracted to a man who has good heart and cares about the world. Don’t be afraid to show that you are loving, sensitive, and caring. You do not need to pretend to be macho. A good heart is always appreciated. Dare to be vulnerable.

5 Become a Dancer

Dancing can be one of the best things you can learn in your life. It helps you with rhythm, keeps your posture straight, shows you how to lead, how to move effortlessly, and gives you that feeling of sway and the smoothest moves. It gives you the feeling of ownership and the biggest confidence boost if you practice it long enough.

 6 Listen more

One of the reasons you’re not getting laid is that you do not know how to listen. If you feel slightly uncomfortable and nervous when approaching a woman and do not know what to say, what you can do is ask questions instead of doing all the talking. Listen, listen, and listen.


Chapter 3: Online Dating

1 Online Dating for Dummies

  • If you are looking to meet women, you need to start online dating. One in five relationships starts online.
  • Online dating is a multibillion dollar business.
  • Online dating is just like anything else in life. The more you do it, the better you become at it. It is also a strategy of odds. The more women you talk to, the more chances you have connecting with someone and finding things in common.

 2 Know Your Competition

Check tinder profiles of other guys to see your competition and change how you introduce yourself to best suit what you are looking for. Choose which you guy you think you are. Funny, kinky, sweet, angry, or a man of few or no words at all?

3 Fill Up the Bio

  • There is a way to fill up your bio so that you can get more matches. Most women love reading, and it is a perfect way for you to show what you are all about. Your likes, hobbies, passions, and aspirations. Don’t mention your dislikes.
  • Present yourself in a positive way, make sure you are saying what you want instead of pointing out what you don’t like, and do not be afraid to show different sides of yourself. Mix it up the sweet with the adventurous, the geeky, exciting, and funny.

4 Get a Match

  • There are certain pictures you should add and others you should avoid putting on your online dating account to get the right matches.
  • Rule number one is to keep group photos to a minimum. Do not set up a group picture as the first one.
  • Another very important detail to mention is that when you choose pictures for your online dating profile, make sure you are not wearing glasses. A lady needs to look at your eyes to make sure she is attracted to you. This is also how she determines if she can trust you.
  • Another way to look more attractive is your smile. Stop pouting; smile instead.
  • In the world of filters, make sure you stay as real as possible.


  1. Chat Like a Boss
  • Are you one of the sexy talkers? Or are you one of those ‘hi, how are you?’ or the classic ‘hi.’ These are the joy killers.
  • Go and look at her profile. Is there something you can use to start a conversation instead of just saying hi.
  • Ask her a question, even if it’s just asking what she had for dinner or what her favourite pizza topping is.
  • Stop just saying hi. She gets too many of those. Stand out!
  • Just tell her that you find her interesting.


Chapter 4: Travel to Get Laid


1 Solo Travel

  • If you have never done it, solo travel can be a great way to build more confidence. If you go to a foreign country and find a place to sleep and food to eat while not being able speak the local language, there must be a way for you to go up to a woman you find attractive and start a conversation with her.
  • Stay in hostel, get into a dorm, and start chatting to the ladies.
  • When in a foreign environment, most people are more open to meeting new people and starting a conversation.
  • Travelling is one of the best ways to come out of your shell. You want to push yourself to make that jump and go for new experiences.

2 Be Indiana Jones

  • Remember when you were younger and had all these big dreams about the places you want to visit? Then life got in the way, and you settled for something less adventurous.
  • Create more excitement in your life. There is an Indiana Jones in you. You are meant to explore and have fun. Travelling is the best way to do it.
  • Travelling can teach you a lot about yourself. Being in a completely different environment helps you to see your life from a different perspective. It shapes who you are and lets you see yourself in a way that you never have before.
  • Step out of your comfort zone and experience the unknown.

3 Travel on a Budget

  • If you want to improve someone’s life, experience what it feels like to live around the locals, and travel on a budget, volunteering is one of the best options. There are organizations and businesses that are looking for people from all over world to come and volunteer.
  • No matter what skills you have, no matter what your age or your education is, there is someone out there who would love to have you on board. It can be something as short as two weeks or a commitment for the whole year.
  • All you would need to do is pay for your flight. Once you are there, most places pay for your food and accommodation, and some might even give you pocket money.
  • Martial arts master Bruce Lee said, “Research your own experiences for the truth . . . Absorb what is useful . . . Add what is specifically your own . . . The creating individual is more than any style or system.” Create your own travel experience. Go out of your comfort zone, meet the most amazing people, gain confidence, and experience the life that will make you one of the most memorable dates for the rest of your life.

4 Nomad Life

  • Imagine how many people you could meet if you were able to work remotely. Imagine how many women you could meet if you could go anywhere in the world and make money working online.
  • If you are doing any kind of work where you are stuck staring at the screen all day long, you could be doing it remotely.
  • Working abroad or travelling and working gives you an opportunity to meet new people. When you are away from your usual environment, you feel more at ease talking to a stranger, which can also help you to meet more women.

5 Travel in Your Own City

Explore your hometown as if it were a foreign land. Look at all tourists having so much fun in your city, going to all the amazing places. They see your hometown from a different perspective. Tourists in your city look at everything with eyes full of excitement. There are a lot of gems around, you just need to start paying more attention. Think about all the new bars and restaurants that have opened in the last couple of years, but you end up going to the same one.


Seven-Day Challenge

  • Do a seven-day challenge. This challenge will help you to meet more women and make you feel more confident when approaching a woman.
  • Day 1: Write down three reasons why improving your dating life is important to you.
  • Day 2: Approach one cute girl in a “daygame” setting and ask her for the time.
  • “Daygame” means anywhere outside of a night-club; an environment such as a coffee shop or the supermarket.
  • Day 3: Approach a girl, ask her for the time, and then give her a compliment about her look.
  • Day 4: Give a girl a compliment, and then try to have a conversation with her for 30 seconds. You may then leave.
  • Day 5: Approach three girls and give them each a compliment.
  • Day 6: Approach three girls, give them each a compliment, and then attempt a 30 second conversation with each.
  • Day 7: Approach three girls, and then ask the one you like the most for her number regardless of whether it is going well or not. Text her right after.





Chapter 5: Get Action on the First Date

1 Call Her, Don’t Text

  • When you are exchanging texts, many things can be misunderstood.
  • When you are talking to someone, it makes you build a connection much faster. You can hear when someone is excited. It makes the conversation so much more pleasant than just staring at your screen and typing.
  • Another very important point to mention is that a woman loves hearing a man’s voice, especially someone who has got a genuine interest in her and wants to know her.

2 Be in Charge

  • Be more assertive. Instead of saying, “Do you want to meet for some drinks?” say, “Let’s meet for drinks!” Can you tell the difference in the tone? Do not worry about sending her a message without a question mark. If she wants to reply, she will. Pay attention to how you are communicating. Be a man who takes action and does things, not someone who spends hours engaging in conversations that do not lead to anything. Your time is valuable.
  • A woman likes when a man is in charge, at least at the very beginning of your relationship. You appear more confident and more masculine when you take things into your own hands.

3 Be a Gentleman

  • A smart lady knows that the way you treat your friends and a stranger is going to be the way you will treat her when you’ve had enough of your best behaviour.
  • In the world full of superwomen, remember to be a gentleman, a man of high value and principles, a man who respects himself and others, is honest, trustworthy, positive, and daring. Be a gentleman, and you will never struggle to get laid in your life.

4 Topics to Discuss

  • The first date is the best time to find out if your date thinks that Muslim people are terrorists or that immigrants have made their country worse off. It is also a great time to get to know them better based on what they read, listen to, or watch. Get to know their views towards monogamy or self-development.
  • Ask about the most memorable place she’s visited, what makes her feel excited, or what she is most proud of in her life. You will have a more meaningful experience.

5 Avoid the Friend Zone

  • It is very important that when you meet a woman, you let her know you find her attractive and that you are interested in her.
  • You must work on yourself, your confidence, and your self-esteem. You must find ways to get over your fears. Stop giving so many fucks.
  • The only thing that is stopping you is yourself. Stop feeding yourself with thoughts saying you are not good enough.
  • There is a woman out there who cannot wait to meet you; go out and have fun.


Chapter 6: Don’t Just Get Laid, Connect Instead


1 The Real You

  • Drawing an imaginary version of yourself in a way you think would help get you laid can make you miss out on a woman that could have been a great match for you.
  • When you try to pretend to be someone you are not, you attract the wrong person into your life and miss a chance with someone who could have been a great fit for you.
  • There is already a woman out there who would love you just the way you are. You just need to go out and meet her. Show who you are and don’t try to pretend to be someone you are not because when you do that, you risk attracting the wrong woman into your life.
  • You want to be with someone who is a great fit for you and can enrich your life instead of holding you back.

2 Your Mask of Masculinity

  • From a very early age, you were told what it means to be a man. This idea of masculinity was embedded in you by your parents, teachers, your favourite athletes, TV shows, your friends, and books. Everywhere you go you are always bombarded with messages telling you that a manly man is physically and mentally strong, he is ready to conquer the world, knows how to earn money, and is confident. You are told that a masculine man is the one who knows and has it all.
  • In his book The Mask of Masculinity, Lewis Howes mentions nine masks that men wear to hide their vulnerability and appear manly:

1. The Stoic Mask: you never show your feelings or emotions.

2. The Athlete Mask: you overcompensate your insecu-rities with achievements in sports.

3. The Material Mask: you try to fill the void by putting all your energy towards getting rich.

4. The Sexual Mask: you sleep with as many women as you can to get a validation.

5. The Aggressive Mask: you solve your problems by showing up as an aggressive person.

6. The Joker Mask: you hide your insecurities with humour.

7. The Invincible Mask: you try to prove to everyone that nothing can bring you down.

8. The Know-It-All Mask: you are a man who strives to show he knows it all, in your profession or academically.

9. The Alpha Mask: you hide your insecurities by always being dominant.


  • Sit down and think about your mask. Which mask are you wearing? It could be more than one.
  • What if you realised that showing your vulnerability is a sign of strength and not weakness?
  • Embrace more of who you are and get rid of the thoughts that are holding you back.
  • Be the authentic you, not someone you think you must be.

3 She Is Your Friend

  • Did you know that a man’s life expectancy is way shorter than a woman’s? Men are also more likely to commit suicide. One of the reasons is because you keep all your emotions bottled up; you are guarded.
  • Women, on the other hand, are much better at talking about their feelings. Very often a woman has a strong nurturing and caring side, and she is better at expressing her love.
  • You need a lady in your life to talk to, listen to you, support you, encourage you and love you.

4 Your Love Language

  • The way you and those you know understand and express their love is different. Everyone has their own love language.
  • According to Dr Gary Chapman, the author of the book The Five Love Languages, there are five different ways in which we show and understand love, whether it is a romantic partner, your best friend, or a family member. Have a look at all five love languages so you can communicate your feelings in a more powerful way.
  • Words of Affirmation: Expressing love by using words that include verbal compliments and words of appreciation.
  • Quality Time: The love language where you feel most loved when you get to spend quality time with another person.
  • Receiving Gifts: Understanding love though unexpected gifts is not about the physical thing that you’re getting, but it is the thought that is important.
  • Acts of Service: Acts of service means expressing love doing things that you know your loved one will appreciate.
  • Physical touch: Holding hands, embracing, cuddling, and sexual intercourse are all ways of communicating emotional love to someone who understands love through a physical touch.
  • The secret to great sex is communication. Knowing someone’s love language could be one of the keys to amazing sex because that person feels loved, appreciated, and listened to.
  • Communicate in a powerful way by knowing more about yourself and how you understand love.

5 Get Laid Better Than Ryan Gosling

  • You can get a lady’s attention even if you only tick one of these boxes by being someone who has either got great manners, interesting stories to tell, does exciting things in his life, or simply smells good.
  • Go out, show how great you are, and meet women. Have as much fun as you can and get laid like a boss.






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