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Greenlights | Matthew McConaughey | Book Summary

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Greenlights by Matthew McConaughey

From the Academy Award®–winning actor, an unconventional memoir filled with raucous stories, outlaw wisdom, and lessons learned the hard way about living with greater satisfaction

I’ve been in this life for fifty years, been trying to work out its riddle for forty-two, and been keeping diaries of clues to that riddle for the last thirty-five. Notes about successes and failures, joys and sorrows, things that made me marvel, and things that made me laugh out loud. How to be fair. How to have less stress. How to have fun. How to hurt people less. How to get hurt less. How to be a good man. How to have meaning in life. How to be more me.

Recently, I worked up the courage to sit down with those diaries. I found stories I experienced, lessons I learned and forgot, poems, prayers, prescriptions, beliefs about what matters, some great photographs, and a whole bunch of bumper stickers. I found a reliable theme, an approach to living that gave me more satisfaction, at the time, and still: If you know how, and when, to deal with life’s challenges – how to get relative with the inevitable – you can enjoy a state of success I call “catching greenlights.”

So I took a one-way ticket to the desert and wrote this book: an album, a record, a story of my life so far. This is fifty years of my sights and seens, felts and figured-outs, cools and shamefuls. Graces, truths, and beauties of brutality. Getting away withs, getting caughts, and getting wets while trying to dance between the raindrops.

Hopefully, it’s medicine that tastes good, a couple of aspirin instead of the infirmary, a spaceship to Mars without needing your pilot’s license, going to church without having to be born again, and laughing through the tears.

It’s a love letter. To life.

It’s also a guide to catching more greenlights – and to realizing that the yellows and reds eventually turn green too.

Good luck.

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Key notes:

He says this is an “approach book”

He is here to share stories, insights, philosophies that can be objectively understood, and if the reader chooses, to be subjectively adopted by either changing reality or changing how you see it

Sometimes you gotta go back to go forward

To see where you came from, where you’ve been, and how you got here

HOW DID I GET HERE?

This is the first 50 years of his life, his resume so far on the way to his eulogy

WHAT’S A GREENLIGHT?

Greenlights mean go, advance, continue

In our lives, they are an affirmation of our way. Approvals, support, praise, cash, health, success, sustainability, etc

Greenlights can also be disguised as yellow or red lights

Sometimes red lights give us what we need

Catching greenlights is about skill. We can catch more green lights by simply identifying where the red ones are and changing course to avoid them

We can also earn greenlights, engineer, and design for them

Catching green lights is also about timing, the world’s timing and ours

It can also be about sheer luck and fate

Navigating the autobahn of life in the best way possible it’s about getting relative with the inevitable at the right time

Inevitability of the situation is not relative. When we accept the outcome of a given situation as inevitable, then how we choose to deal with it is relative

The problems we face today eventually turn into blessings in the rearview mirror of life

In time, yesterday’s red light leads us to a greenlight

 

PART ONE: OUTLAW LOGIC: A WEDNESDAY NIGHT, 1974

His parents were divorced twice and married three times to each other

Two adages in life people generally use are the golden rule and everything in moderation

His parents taught him not to hate, not to say I can’t, and to never lie

Words are momentary. Intent is momentous

His parents didn’t hope they followed their rules, they expected them to

Denied expectation hurts more than denied hope, while fulfilled hope makes us happier than a fulfilled expectation

Hope has got a higher return on happiness

His mom’s philosophy of seeing a thing, owning it, and signing your name to it was prepping him to become an actor long before he became one

Knowing the truth, seeing the truth, and telling the truth are all different experiences

We need discipline, guidelines, context, and responsibility early in any new endeavor

It’s the time to sacrifice, to learn, to observe, to take heed

Once we get knowledge of the space in the craft, then we have the freedom to create

Creativity needs borders. Individuality needs resistance. Without them, there is no form or art, only chaos

 

PART 2: FIND YOUR FREQUENCY: SPRING 1988

In high school he was the fun popular guy. He hustled, made an effort, and engaged

Note to self: Process of elimination and identity

The first step that leads to our identity in life is usually “I know who I’m not”

We should get rid of the excess in our lives that keep us from being more of ourselves

Prescribe: Boundaries to freedom

We need finites, borders, gravity, shape and resistance to have order

This order creates responsibility which creates judgment, which creates choice

In the choice lies the freedom, to create the weather that gives us the most favorable win we must remove that which causes the most friction to our core being

This process of elimination creates order by default

He found out from the other members of the Rotary club families that the Dooleys were in fact insane and they couldn’t believe Matthew had stayed with them that long. It was an Australian prank

He realized his suffering with that family was invaluable because they forced him to become an introspective person and look inside himself to make sense of what the hell is going on around him

He learned that life’s hard. Shit happens to us. We make shit happen

He made a commitment to himself so there was no turning back, but he got relative in order to survive

Note to self: The monster

The future is the monster, not the boogeyman under the bed. The past is just something we’re trying to outrun tomorrow

The monster is the future, the unknown, the boundaries not yet crossed. The potential not yet realized.

Note to self: Sometimes we find our frequency by holding onto a moral bottom line in the midst of chaos. Sometimes we find it by breaking the rules and running the red light to get our ass home

He referenced a quote that says “Style is knowing who you are, what you want to say, and not giving a damn. To have style, you have to have these in this order. Knowing who you are is the base that everything else comes from“

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PART THREE: DIRT ROADS AND AUTOBAHNS: JULY 1989 

Note to self: When we know what we want to do, knowing when to do it is the hard part. Get them early so you don’t have to get them as often. Prevent before the cure

He knew he needed to stop lying to himself about wanting to become a lawyer.

He knew he wanted to tell stories. He told his dad he didn’t want to go to law school, and his dad’s response was “don’t half-ass it”

Note to self: Biology and giddy up. DNA and work. Genetics and willpower. Life is a combination

Bumper sticker: I’ll take a little common sense with that knowledge.

Prescription: Tribes

We want lovers, friends, recruits, soldiers and affiliations that support who we are

Individuals want to survive and have more of ourselves

We learn to measure people on the competence of their values that we most value

We all want to believe in and be believed in. We almost earn belief in ourselves first then for each other

Travel and humanity were his biggest educators because they have help him understand the common denominator of mankind: values

Engage with yourself then engage with the world

Values travel

Note to self: We are not here to tolerate our differences, we’re here to accept them

We’re not here to celebrate our sameness, but to salute our distinctions

We’re not born into equal circumstances or with equal abilities, but should have equal opportunity

As individuals, we unite in our values

Note to self: Cool

Cool is a natural law. If it was cool for that time then it is cool for all time

Cool stands the test of time because cool never tries. It just is

His first three lines recorded on set were his now-infamous, “all right, all right, all right” he would be known for 28 years later

Note to self: One in a row

Any success takes one in a row. Do one thing well and then another, over and over until The end

Note to self: Days of prosperity

Days of prosperity can make us forget about adversity

The sooner we become less impressed with our accomplishments and more involved, we get better at them

Note to self: The genie is in the steam

You need genetic talent and hard work, but the magic is in the steam, the juice

Note to self: Hollywood – Want her, don’t need her

He and his friends rented motorbikes and rode all over Europe. It was the best trip of their lives and they had so many more stories of their adventures. Afterward, he returned to Hollywood

Prescribe: Dirt roads and autobahns

Sometimes the road less traveled is the autobahn. Robert frost was right, taking the road less traveled can make all the difference, but that road isn’t necessarily the road with the least traffic. It may be the road that we personally have traveled less

Just like how the road less traveled may be different for introverts and extroverts

 

PART FOUR: THE ART OF RUNNING DOWNHILL: JANUARY 1994

Bumper sticker: Most of the time it’s not stolen, it’s right where you left it

Note to self: When you can, ask yourself if you want to before you do

Note to self: The intellect is not meant to surpass the apparent so much as to conceal it or make it more confusing. It is meant to expose the truth more clearly and make it more obvious

It should simplify things not make them more cerebral

Lesson learned: We have to prepare to have freedom

We have to do the work to then do the job. We have to prepare for the job so then we can be free to do the work

Note to self: We must learn the consequence of negligence

It’s not just what we do it’s what we don’t do that’s important as well. We are guilty by omission

Note to self: If only

It means you wanted something but did not get it. More often than not we don’t get what we want because we quit early or didn’t take the necessary risk to get it

Note to self: Made for the moment

We are all made for every moment we encounter, whether the moment makes us or we make the moment

Whether we are helpless in it or on top of it. The predator or the prey

Prescribe: A roof is a man-made thing

Don’t create imaginary constraints. Or a way to think we don’t deserve these fortunes when they are within our grasp? Who are we to think we haven’t earned them?

If we stay in process within ourselves, in the joy of the doing, we will never choke the finish line because we are not thinking about the finish line

We are performing in real time in which the approach is the destination

Note to self: Sometimes you have etc., sometimes etc. has you

Prescribe: Why we all need a walkabout

We are more constantly bombarded by unnatural stimuli. We need to put ourselves in places of decreased sensory input so we can hear the background signals of our psychological processes

Sometimes we don’t need advice, sometimes we just need to hear we are not the only one

Prescription: Both are true

He does everything for him but also for everyone else and God. He is responsible for fate. Each step has the big picture and he is the man he wants to be

The fame got to his moms head and strained their relationship for 8 years, but eventually he loosened the reigns and let her enjoy it all

Note to self: The art of running downhill

Don’t trip yourself while running downhill. Don’t invent drama, it will come on its own

Note to self: A man addicted to ideas need be intervened with starvation. A man addicted to truths need be fed

Note to self: Just because the seats are empty doesn’t mean they are not taken. Sometimes the guest list needs to be for one: you

Note to self: Sometimes we have to leave what we know to find out what we know

Prescription/ prayer: God, when I cross the truth, give me the awareness to receive it, the consciousness to recognize it, the presence to personalize it, the patience to preserve it, and the courage to live it

Note to self: He’s never cared much for destinations. He prefers simply a direction and a wide highway with room to swerve and explore along the way

He lived in a trailer park for a while where he can meet and live with people from all walks of life and backgrounds

However, everyone respected trailer park rules which were not everyone minded their own business and respected others privacy

Note to self: Common sense is like money in health. Once you have it, you have to work to keep it

Bumper sticker: Localized to customize

Adapt to modify. The renaissance man is at home wherever he goes

One of the great freedoms of trailer life was you could go anywhere and find a new backyard whenever you want. We can go to different events, see new places, meet many people

Prescription: White-collar prayers

Blue-collar prayers are things that people need like food, shelter, medical assistance

White-collar prayers are things people want like material things, privileged prayers

We need to quit asking God to answer these kinds of prayers

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PART FIVE: TURN THE PAGE: OCTOBER 23, 1999

Bumper sticker: If you are high enough the sun is always shining

Note to self: People don’t get in trouble for what they do, they get in trouble for getting caught. The art is in getting away with it

The outlaw doesn’t live at the edges, he lives in the center cruising through the slipstream

Note to self: Kiss the fire and walk away whistling

Basically, this means living life on the edge and partying hard but living and getting away with it

Note to self: Two agnostics.

Just because it says anonymous doesn’t mean it has no author

Note to self: Superstitions

Note to self: Some people want the AC on in the gym so they won’t sweat. He wears his beanie in July so he will

Note to self: Sometimes which choice you make is not as important as making a choice and committing to it

Bumper sticker: Educate before you indict

Bumper sticker: Some people look for an excuse to do. Others look for an excuse not to do

He went to a village in Africa and ended up wrestling the strongest man and winning

Don’t label things as unbelievable if they are remarkable and extraordinary. Believe it because it just occurred

A village person told him that he won the wrestling match not because he won in the typical sense. He won because he accepted the challenge and held his own

Note to self: The justice it deserves

To appreciate a place fully, a man must know he can live there. He needs to customize and localize himself to the place he visits

Then and only then is it truly acceptable for him to leave. Wherever you are, give the place the justice it deserves

Bumper sticker: I am good at what I love, I don’t love all that I’m good at

He started to get more inner growth from his travel than from his career in acting

Great leaders are not always in front, they also know who to follow

 

PART SIX: THE ARROW DOESN’T SEE THE TARGET, THE TARGET DRAWS THE ARROW

He had another wet dream about having a lot of children and past relationships to look back on in his old age

Note to self: The great man is not all to each. He is each to all

The genius can do anything but does one thing at a time

Note to self: Man is never more masculine than after the birth of his first child

Bumper sticker: Life, like architecture, is a verb

If designed well, it works. It’s beautiful and it needs no directions. It needs maintenance

Bumper sticker: It’s not a risk unless you can lose the fight

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PART 7: BE BRAVE, TAKE THE HILL: FALL 2008

Note to self: Self fish

The measure of a man’s greatness is when he becomes classic. When mortal rewards are no longer enough to pay his rent, man becomes legend

Fish for yourself

Note to self: Once you know it’s black, it’s not as dark

Bumper sticker: If we all made a sense of humor the default emotion, we’d all get along a lot better

Prescription: Define success for yourself

Continue to ask yourself, what is success to me?

Your answer may change over time and that’s OK. But whatever your answer is, don’t choose anything that would jeopardize your soul

Prioritize who you are, who you want to be

Don’t spend time with anything that antagonizes your character

Be brave and take the help

But first ask yourself, what is my hill?

He initially turned downed a script for two months worth of work for $5 million. It eventually turned into $14.5 million offer, which made the script seem far superior

However he stuck to his commitment and would not accept any romantic comedy work

If he couldn’t do what he wanted, he wasn’t going to do what he didn’t, no matter the price

Bumper sticker: Truth is like a jalapeño

The closer you get to the root, the hotter it gets

For 20 months he was off the grid from Hollywood and out of the public eye

An honest man’s pillow is his peace of mind

After just shy of two months, he was forgotten and re-discovered

He had successfully been able to unbrand himself and now it was time to reinvent himself

Note to self: Time and truth

Two constants you can rely on. One shows up at the first time every time and the other never leaves

He jumped on the opportunity to play the mentor role in Wolf on Wall Street with Leonardo DiCaprio

That chest drumming thing was what he did off screen to keep his rhythm, but it was Leonardo’s idea to do it in-scene

Note to self: They are all storytellers in the movie business

They play make-believe. And when they do it well, they make the viewer believe

They made Dallas Buyers club for $4.9M, way under the original budget, in 25 days

 

PART EIGHT: LIVE YOUR LEGACY NOW: NOVEMBER 7, 2011

Being together with someone in marriage does not steal the sense of self, rather it enlightens it

In marriage we don’t lose half ourselves, we become more of ourselves

His pastor told him that through this covenant with God we actually triple our existence

We become three entities: wife, husband, and God

Note to self: If you just live together, you live for the present. If you marry, you live for the future

Note to self: The closer he gets to divinity the more he wonders if he’s a fraud

Note to self: There is a difference between art and self-expression

All art is self-expression, but all self-expression is not art

Prescribe: Why pray? It is a time to take inventory

To take a look high and wide at ourselves, loved ones, and mortality

To smile at our blessings, to humble our selfish yearnings, to embrace those who are in need with our compassion

We don’t live longer when we try not to die, we live longer when we are too busy living

 

Nutshell:

Actor Matthew McConaughey reflects on his life and explains the concept of “catching greenlights.” To him, this is knowing how and when to deal with life’s challenges and getting relative with the inevitable.

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