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Girl, Wash Your Face | Rachel Hollis | Book Summary

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Girl, Wash Your Face by Rachel Hollis

 

Synopsis:

“As the founder of the lifestyle website TheChicSite.com and CEO of her own media company, Rachel Hollis developed an immense online community by sharing tips for better living while fearlessly revealing the messiness of her own life. Now, in this challenging and inspiring new book, Rachel exposes the 20 lies and misconceptions that too often hold us back from living joyfully and productively, lies we’ve told ourselves so often we don’t even hear them anymore.

With painful honesty and fearless humor, Rachel unpacks and examines the falsehoods that once left her feeling overwhelmed and unworthy, and reveals the specific practical strategies that helped her move past them. In the process, she encourages, entertains, and even kicks a little butt, all to convince you to do whatever it takes to get real and become the joyous, confident woman you were meant to be.

With unflinching faith and rock-hard tenacity, Girl, Wash Your Face shows you how to live with passion and hustle – and how to give yourself grace without giving up.” -Audible

Key notes:

One important truth/takeaway from this book: you and only you are ultimately responsible for who you become and how happy you are

Chapter 1: The lie – Something else will make me happy

You must choose to be happy, grateful, and fulfilled

Things that helped:

Stop comparing yourself

Comparison is the death of joy, and the only person you need to be better than is the one you were yesterday

Surround yourself with positivity

You become who you surround yourself with

You become what you consume

Figure out what makes you happy and do those things

Very few people intentionally choose the things that bring them joy

Chapter 2: The lie – I’ll start tomorrow

When we’re at a loss, we reach for the lowest bar

The lowest bar is typically our highest level of training

The one thing standing between you and achieving your goals is the ability to build on past success

Things that helped:

Starting with one small goal

It’s much easier to add a habit than take one away

Be careful with your commitments

Slow down your yes

Only commit to things you know you can accomplish because they’re incredibly important to you

Otherwise you set yourself up for continued failure

Be honest with yourself

Look at what you cancel on and see how you’ve been training yourself to behave

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Chapter 3: The lie – I am not good enough

Sometimes our sicknesses and symptoms are a physical response to an emotional problem

Things that helped her:

Go to therapy

There is a connection between your childhood insecurities and your adult accomplishments

Hustle for joy

Work just as hard for the fun moments as you do for everything else

Re-order your list

Your bullet point priorities usually stay the same, but the ordering is what changes

You yourself should always be at the very top, focusing on self-care physically and emotionally

Chapter 4: The lie – I’m better than you

The stones we most often try to fling at others are the ones that have been thrown at us

Realize that nobody is immune to judging others

Recognize that just because you believe it, doesn’t mean it’s true for everyone

Judgement comes from a place of feeling as though you’ve somehow got it all figured out when they do not

Judging others actually makes us feel safer in our choices

Holding each other accountable comes from a place of love

Judgment comes from a place of fear, disdain, or hate

Things that helped:

Non-judgemental friends

Police yourself

Instead of judging, force yourself to stop and think of compliments about that person

Deal with it

Usually judging comes from a deep well of our own insecurities

Chapter 5: The lie – Loving him is enough for me

Things that would have helped:

A sounding board

Be careful if the only words of advisement is your own

Be prepared

Someone else’s shoes

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Chapter 6: The lie – No is the final answer

When it comes to your dreams, no is not an answer

The word no is not a reason to stop

Instead, think of it as a detour or a yield sign

Perception means we don’t see things as they are, we see things as we are

Nobody gets to tell you how big your dreams can be

One of the greatest lessons: the only thing worse than giving up is wishing that you hadn’t

Nothing that lasts is accomplished quickly

You are a warrior because of through the trials you are going through, but don’t squander the strength you have earned just because the acquisition of it was painful

Those are the most important stories to share

It’s not about the goal or the dream you have. It’s about who you become on your way to that goal

You won’t get there by saying yes. You’ll get there by not giving up when you hear the word no

Things that helped:

Audacity

Keep your eyes on your goal, regardless of what gets in your way

Alternate paths

Keep your goals in plain sight

Chapter 7: The lie – I’m bad at sex

Things that helped her:

Redefine sex in your own mind

She now saw it as a fun experience that would always be more compelling than whatever else she could be doing

Figure out how it can be an earth shattering experience

If you’re not enjoying yourself, you’re not having good sex

She read Hebrews 13:4

Embrace your body

Commit to your orgasm

Figure out what turns you on

Commit to having sex every day for a month

Chapter 8: The lie – I don’t know how to be a mom

To all the current and future moms: you don’t have to have it all figured out

You don’t have to know everything

The mechanics of keeping a new born alive are fairly simple

A new mother should focus on two things:

Take care of the baby

Take care of yourself

Things that helped:

Find a tribe

Stay away from Pinterest or social media

Getting out of the house, every single day

Talk to someone about your feelings

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Chapter 9: The lie – I am not a good mom

You need to truly care that you are raising your babies to grow up to be good people

You need to do the work today to ensure that it happens

You have to make a conscious choice to not compare your family or yourself with others

Things that helped:

Look at the evidence

Make friends with the other moms

Focus on quality

Chapter 10: The lie – I should be further along by now

Our own, negative self talk can be more damaging than the emotional abuse heaped onto us by a hateful parent and far more insidious because there’s nobody to stop it

Faith is the belief that your life will unfold as it was meant to

Even when it unfolds to something painful and difficult to navigate

Focus on what you have done and the baby steps you’ve taken 

Celebrate the small moments

Nothing is more important than today

God has perfect timing

Things that helped:

Make a list

Write out everything you’ve accomplished today

Write yourself a letter about your tenacity

Talking to someone

Set goals, not time limits

Big goals shouldn’t have expiration dates

As long as you’re working towards the things you hope to accomplish, it shouldn’t matter if it takes you a month or a decade

Chapter 11: The lie – Other people’s kids are so much cleaner, better, organized, more polite

Embracing chaos might be the path to finding peace

There’s beauty in the chaos and freedom in not trying to fight against the tide

Give yourself some grace

Things that helped:

Friends like you (same life stage)

Priorities and knowing what yours are

Sit down and decide what’s really important to you

Boxed wine (or something or some activity that helps you unwind)

Find something in your life that feels like a treat or indulgence

When you’re feeling frazzled, you should be able to go to your happy place and reset

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Chapter 12: The lie – I need to make myself smaller

Things that helped:

A willingness to offend

A bold statement

An encounter with a guru

Start consuming content that speaks to that specific area

Chapter 13: The lie – I’m going to marry Matt Damon

Your ability to imagine your dreams in intricate detail is one of the biggest reasons you’ll be able to achieve them

Having a clear vision will give you something to focus on

Seriously, write down your goals

Things that helped:

Writing it down

Saying it out loud

When you name yours, say it in a powerful and affirmative present tense

Create a vision board

Chapter 14: The lie – I am a terrible writer

Someone else’s opinion of you is none of your business

Can you create your work and art because you have a God-given ability to do so

You create as a gift to yourself and to the higher power that blessed you with those abilities

Things that helped

Stop reading reading reviews

Write for yourself

If you have it within your power to keep a piece of your creativity just for yourself, it is truly a gift

Indulge in silliness

Reach for silly, creative endeavors that serves no real purpose other than joy

Chapter 15: The lie – I will never get past this

If you don’t look for the good that came out of what you lived through, it’s all wasted

Things that helped:

Going to therapy

Talking about it

Not just with a therapist but also a close friend you trust

Make yourself think about it

Chapter 16: The lie – I can’t tell the truth

When things are hidden, we give power to the fear, the negativity, the lies

Things that helped:

Taking the plunge

Finding the courage to be honest about who you are or what you’re going through

Seek out other truth tellers

Surround yourself with people who have also gone through the hardship of being honest about their feelings

Research stories similar to your own

Chapter 17: The lie – I am defined by my weight

Things that helped:

Mantras

Edit your media

Stop consuming certain types of content that make you feel terrible from comparison

Preparation

Prepare in advance for anything you want to do well

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Chapter 18: The lie – I need a drink

Reader’s note: I love how open and honest this book is. It covers topics I’ve never heard other books talk about. She really communicates well and gives great insight for people who may also be struggling with these issues.

The difficult seasons we walk through are how we learn to build up strength to manage any situation

The strongest people you know have probably walked through hard roads and built up the skills necessary to be emotional giants

Don’t turn to distractions

Foodwatershelter, and healthy relationships are the only things you need

Anything else you insert into that category becomes a dangerous crutch

Things that helped:

Learning about habits

Acknowledge your reality

Self-awareness is one of the most important skills to acquire in the world

Remove the temptation

Chapter 19: The lie – There’s only one right way to be

“When you know better, you do better”

Maya Angelou

Reader’s note: I love that she talks a lot about her faith and her background so we can understand where she comes from. As a Christian myself, I think this is very important and I would love to do the same in my own book. It makes the most sense to talk about my faith which is such a huge part of my life. This is why I’m so glad that she is setting a good example for hopeful authors like myself.

Every day, you get to choose the way your world looks

Things that helped:

Change churches

Acknowledge your position

Admit to the problems and your flawed ways of thinking so that you can change for the better

Ask humble questions

Chapter 20: The lie – I need a hero

Only you have the power to change your life

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Main ideas / Themes:

You and only you are ultimately responsible for who you become and how happy you are

The lowest bar is typically our highest level of training

Self-care (your physical & emotional well-being) should always be at the top of your priorities

Judging others comes from our own insecurities

The only thing worse than giving up is wishing that you hadn’t

Accomplishing a goal is all about the person you become in pursuit of it

It is important to figure out how to have good sex

You don’t have to have it all figured out

Always surround yourself with the right people

Have faith and celebrate how far you’ve come

Embracing chaos might be the path to finding peace

Give yourself some grace

Have a clear vision for your goals & write them down

Someone else’s opinion of you is none of your business

Look for the good that comes from your pain

When things are hidden, we give power to the fear, the negativity, the lies

Prepare in advance for anything you want to do well

Self-awareness is one of the most important skills to acquire in the world

Every day, you get to choose the way your world looks

Only you have the power to change your life

DOWNLOAD THIS FREE PDF SUMMARY HERE

Book | 150 PDF SummariesCourse | YouTube | Coaching

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