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Girl, Wash Your Face by Rachel Hollis
Synopsis:
“As the founder of the lifestyle website TheChicSite.com and CEO of her own media company, Rachel Hollis developed an immense online community by sharing tips for better living while fearlessly revealing the messiness of her own life. Now, in this challenging and inspiring new book, Rachel exposes the 20 lies and misconceptions that too often hold us back from living joyfully and productively, lies we’ve told ourselves so often we don’t even hear them anymore.
With painful honesty and fearless humor, Rachel unpacks and examines the falsehoods that once left her feeling overwhelmed and unworthy, and reveals the specific practical strategies that helped her move past them. In the process, she encourages, entertains, and even kicks a little butt, all to convince you to do whatever it takes to get real and become the joyous, confident woman you were meant to be.
With unflinching faith and rock-hard tenacity, Girl, Wash Your Face shows you how to live with passion and hustle – and how to give yourself grace without giving up.” -Audible
Key notes:
One important truth/takeaway from this book: you and only you are ultimately responsible for who you become and how happy you are
Chapter 1: The lie – Something else will make me happy
You must choose to be happy, grateful, and fulfilled
Things that helped:
Stop comparing yourself
Comparison is the death of joy, and the only person you need to be better than is the one you were yesterday
Surround yourself with positivity
You become who you surround yourself with
You become what you consume
Figure out what makes you happy and do those things
Very few people intentionally choose the things that bring them joy
Chapter 2: The lie – I’ll start tomorrow
When we’re at a loss, we reach for the lowest bar
The lowest bar is typically our highest level of training
The one thing standing between you and achieving your goals is the ability to build on past success
Things that helped:
Starting with one small goal
It’s much easier to add a habit than take one away
Be careful with your commitments
Slow down your yes
Only commit to things you know you can accomplish because they’re incredibly important to you
Otherwise you set yourself up for continued failure
Be honest with yourself
Look at what you cancel on and see how you’ve been training yourself to behave
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Chapter 3: The lie – I am not good enough
Sometimes our sicknesses and symptoms are a physical response to an emotional problem
Things that helped her:
Go to therapy
There is a connection between your childhood insecurities and your adult accomplishments
Hustle for joy
Work just as hard for the fun moments as you do for everything else
Re-order your list
Your bullet point priorities usually stay the same, but the ordering is what changes
You yourself should always be at the very top, focusing on self-care physically and emotionally
Chapter 4: The lie – I’m better than you
The stones we most often try to fling at others are the ones that have been thrown at us
Realize that nobody is immune to judging others
Recognize that just because you believe it, doesn’t mean it’s true for everyone
Judgement comes from a place of feeling as though you’ve somehow got it all figured out when they do not
Judging others actually makes us feel safer in our choices
Holding each other accountable comes from a place of love
Judgment comes from a place of fear, disdain, or hate
Things that helped:
Non-judgemental friends
Police yourself
Instead of judging, force yourself to stop and think of compliments about that person
Deal with it
Usually judging comes from a deep well of our own insecurities
Chapter 5: The lie – Loving him is enough for me
Things that would have helped:
A sounding board
Be careful if the only words of advisement is your own
Be prepared
Someone else’s shoes
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Chapter 6: The lie – No is the final answer
When it comes to your dreams, no is not an answer
The word no is not a reason to stop
Instead, think of it as a detour or a yield sign
Perception means we don’t see things as they are, we see things as we are
Nobody gets to tell you how big your dreams can be
One of the greatest lessons: the only thing worse than giving up is wishing that you hadn’t
Nothing that lasts is accomplished quickly
You are a warrior because of through the trials you are going through, but don’t squander the strength you have earned just because the acquisition of it was painful
Those are the most important stories to share
It’s not about the goal or the dream you have. It’s about who you become on your way to that goal
You won’t get there by saying yes. You’ll get there by not giving up when you hear the word no
Things that helped:
Audacity
Keep your eyes on your goal, regardless of what gets in your way
Alternate paths
Keep your goals in plain sight
Chapter 7: The lie – I’m bad at sex
Things that helped her:
Redefine sex in your own mind
She now saw it as a fun experience that would always be more compelling than whatever else she could be doing
Figure out how it can be an earth shattering experience
If you’re not enjoying yourself, you’re not having good sex
She read Hebrews 13:4
Embrace your body
Commit to your orgasm
Figure out what turns you on
Commit to having sex every day for a month
Chapter 8: The lie – I don’t know how to be a mom
To all the current and future moms: you don’t have to have it all figured out
You don’t have to know everything
The mechanics of keeping a new born alive are fairly simple
A new mother should focus on two things:
Take care of the baby
Take care of yourself
Things that helped:
Find a tribe
Stay away from Pinterest or social media
Getting out of the house, every single day
Talk to someone about your feelings
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Chapter 9: The lie – I am not a good mom
You need to truly care that you are raising your babies to grow up to be good people
You need to do the work today to ensure that it happens
You have to make a conscious choice to not compare your family or yourself with others
Things that helped:
Look at the evidence
Make friends with the other moms
Focus on quality
Chapter 10: The lie – I should be further along by now
Our own, negative self talk can be more damaging than the emotional abuse heaped onto us by a hateful parent and far more insidious because there’s nobody to stop it
Faith is the belief that your life will unfold as it was meant to
Even when it unfolds to something painful and difficult to navigate
Focus on what you have done and the baby steps you’ve taken
Celebrate the small moments
Nothing is more important than today
God has perfect timing
Things that helped:
Make a list
Write out everything you’ve accomplished today
Write yourself a letter about your tenacity
Talking to someone
Set goals, not time limits
Big goals shouldn’t have expiration dates
As long as you’re working towards the things you hope to accomplish, it shouldn’t matter if it takes you a month or a decade
Chapter 11: The lie – Other people’s kids are so much cleaner, better, organized, more polite
Embracing chaos might be the path to finding peace
There’s beauty in the chaos and freedom in not trying to fight against the tide
Give yourself some grace
Things that helped:
Friends like you (same life stage)
Priorities and knowing what yours are
Sit down and decide what’s really important to you
Boxed wine (or something or some activity that helps you unwind)
Find something in your life that feels like a treat or indulgence
When you’re feeling frazzled, you should be able to go to your happy place and reset
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Chapter 12: The lie – I need to make myself smaller
Things that helped:
A willingness to offend
A bold statement
An encounter with a guru
Start consuming content that speaks to that specific area
Chapter 13: The lie – I’m going to marry Matt Damon
Your ability to imagine your dreams in intricate detail is one of the biggest reasons you’ll be able to achieve them
Having a clear vision will give you something to focus on
Seriously, write down your goals
Things that helped:
Writing it down
Saying it out loud
When you name yours, say it in a powerful and affirmative present tense
Create a vision board
Chapter 14: The lie – I am a terrible writer
Someone else’s opinion of you is none of your business
Can you create your work and art because you have a God-given ability to do so
You create as a gift to yourself and to the higher power that blessed you with those abilities
Things that helped
Stop reading reading reviews
Write for yourself
If you have it within your power to keep a piece of your creativity just for yourself, it is truly a gift
Indulge in silliness
Reach for silly, creative endeavors that serves no real purpose other than joy
Chapter 15: The lie – I will never get past this
If you don’t look for the good that came out of what you lived through, it’s all wasted
Things that helped:
Going to therapy
Talking about it
Not just with a therapist but also a close friend you trust
Make yourself think about it
Chapter 16: The lie – I can’t tell the truth
When things are hidden, we give power to the fear, the negativity, the lies
Things that helped:
Taking the plunge
Finding the courage to be honest about who you are or what you’re going through
Seek out other truth tellers
Surround yourself with people who have also gone through the hardship of being honest about their feelings
Research stories similar to your own
Chapter 17: The lie – I am defined by my weight
Things that helped:
Mantras
Edit your media
Stop consuming certain types of content that make you feel terrible from comparison
Preparation
Prepare in advance for anything you want to do well
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Chapter 18: The lie – I need a drink
Reader’s note: I love how open and honest this book is. It covers topics I’ve never heard other books talk about. She really communicates well and gives great insight for people who may also be struggling with these issues.
The difficult seasons we walk through are how we learn to build up strength to manage any situation
The strongest people you know have probably walked through hard roads and built up the skills necessary to be emotional giants
Don’t turn to distractions
Food, water, shelter, and healthy relationships are the only things you need
Anything else you insert into that category becomes a dangerous crutch
Things that helped:
Learning about habits
Acknowledge your reality
Self-awareness is one of the most important skills to acquire in the world
Remove the temptation
Chapter 19: The lie – There’s only one right way to be
“When you know better, you do better”
Maya Angelou
Reader’s note: I love that she talks a lot about her faith and her background so we can understand where she comes from. As a Christian myself, I think this is very important and I would love to do the same in my own book. It makes the most sense to talk about my faith which is such a huge part of my life. This is why I’m so glad that she is setting a good example for hopeful authors like myself.
Every day, you get to choose the way your world looks
Things that helped:
Change churches
Acknowledge your position
Admit to the problems and your flawed ways of thinking so that you can change for the better
Ask humble questions
Chapter 20: The lie – I need a hero
Only you have the power to change your life
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Main ideas / Themes:
You and only you are ultimately responsible for who you become and how happy you are
The lowest bar is typically our highest level of training
Self-care (your physical & emotional well-being) should always be at the top of your priorities
Judging others comes from our own insecurities
The only thing worse than giving up is wishing that you hadn’t
Accomplishing a goal is all about the person you become in pursuit of it
It is important to figure out how to have good sex
You don’t have to have it all figured out
Always surround yourself with the right people
Have faith and celebrate how far you’ve come
Embracing chaos might be the path to finding peace
Give yourself some grace
Have a clear vision for your goals & write them down
Someone else’s opinion of you is none of your business
Look for the good that comes from your pain
When things are hidden, we give power to the fear, the negativity, the lies
Prepare in advance for anything you want to do well
Self-awareness is one of the most important skills to acquire in the world
Every day, you get to choose the way your world looks
Only you have the power to change your life
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STOP TRYING TO ACHIEVE YOUR GOALS BY YOURSELF AND BE COACHED TODAY HERE
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