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Section One: CLARITY
Chapter 1: Clarity Overview
- Clarity is defined as the quality of being clearly and easily understood, seen, heard, expressed and remembered.
- If you don’t have a clear image of who you are, where you are/going, and what key tools you have at your disposal, then you’re going to have an incredibly difficult time moving forward and accomplishing what you set out to do.
- Before you begin anything, you have to be totally clear with what it is that you want.
Chapter 2: Taking Stock (Wading through the BS)
- Consider these three very important questions:
- What do you love?
- What are you good at?
- What serves the world?
- Within these questions lies the answer that you are looking for and will bring you to what we term “the sweet spot.”
Question one: What do you love?
- Start this exercise by writing about the things you love in life.
- What are your:
- Favourite books to read
Question two: What are you good at?
- This is the part where you will explore your strengths.
- What are your:
- Skill sets
Question three: What serves the world?
- What could you do to serve the world?
- The overlap between what you are good at and what you love is what we call “self-serving.” It is self-serving because it is simply all about you.
- The overlap between what you love and what serves the world is labelled “not sustainable,” because you are not utilizing key strengths, which can cause frustration, stress, and overwhelm.
- The overlap between what you are good at and what serves the world we call “the danger zone.” One reason this is the danger zone is because it lacks passion.
- Nothing great in the world has ever been accomplished without passion. (Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel)
- That brings us to the fourth and central overlap. This is where all three circles intersect and it’s what we call “the sweet spot.” This is the point of highest contribution. It is here that your passion will fuel your desires and those desires will be supported by dominant skills.
- In systems thinking this would be called a reinforcing loop. In this dialogue, a reinforcing loop is one in which an action produces a result that influences more of the same action thus resulting in growth or decline. When we live with passion and see the positive result in the world, we become supercharged to continue to build valuable skills and resources, which in turn drives our passion even further.
Chapter 3: Knowing Your Purpose
- For your success, you must know your purpose and what you want to accomplish.
- If knowing your purpose was a journey then you must have three well-defined areas. First, you should be clear on who you are as a person. You must be able to see yourself, your goals, and your dreams as extremely important. Second, you should be absolutely clear on your starting point. Where you are right now compared to where you want to be? Third, you should be absolutely clear on your desired destination and be as specific as possible so that you end up in the right place.
- The way you’ll begin to gain clarity on your purpose, if you don’t know already, is to ask yourself this simple question. “What Do I Want?”
- What do you want in: personal growth, business or career, relationships, health and wellness, spirituality, finances, and life in general?
- Know your path of purpose because being “in the ballpark” isn’t good enough.
- It’s only when the pain becomes so unbearable that we make the decision to change.
Exercise: What Do You Want?
- 1) What do I want?
- This could be a personal goal, career, health, spiritual, family, relationship, etc.
- Be specific. State this in the positive, “I want…”
- Stop focusing on what you don’t want, and focus on what you truly do want!
- 2) What’s stopping me from having this now?
- Are you living on the cause side of the equation or are you on the effect side?
- Do you make things happen or do things happen to you?
- Take ownership and responsibility.
- Do you have limiting decisions, limiting beliefs, self-imposed barriers, or inner conflicts?
- 3) How am I going to get what I want?
- This is important, so what is your plan for succeeding? Many people don’t have a plan or they hope things will just be given to them. Will your plan produce the results you desire? Describe your plan for achievement.
Chapter 4: Self-Talk
- Self-talk is described as the thoughts we think and the words we say to/about ourselves.
- You need to gain clarity on your self-talk early in our work together is because you need to know whose side you’re on.
- Healthy self-talk relates to thoughts/words that are positive, serving, and moving towards personal greatness. Harmful self-talk relates to thoughts/words that are negative, destructive, and self-sabotaging.
Limiting Beliefs and Limiting Decisions
- Limiting beliefs are quite simply those hindering beliefs that constrain a person’s full potential. They are the walls that stop expansion and the ceiling that prohibits you from rising to extraordinary heights.
- In addition to limiting beliefs. Another form of internal block manifests as limiting decisions, which are just as dangerous and detrimental to our growth. Simply put, these are the choices to do less than what’s necessary.
- It’s these poor choices, self-sabotaging behaviours, and half-assed efforts that keep people in the cycle of mediocrity.
- Limiting beliefs are influenced by those closest to us directed under the guise of advice.
- Developing positive self-talk is instrumental in cultivating and maintaining a – YES I CAN – winning attitude.
Chapter 5: Social Circles
- Human beings are social creatures and we gravitate towards likeminded individuals in all areas of life forming central circles. Finding and engaging with healthy social circles is vital to growth as well as mental and emotional well-being.
- Jim Rohn said, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with”
- The proverb birds of a feather flock together.
- In Hermetic Philosophy, the Principle of Cause and Effect is the sixth of seven great Universal principles, detailing how “chance” is just an illusion. Either you live on the “Cause side” of the equation and make things happen or you live on the “Effect side” and let things happen to you.
- When you align with the right people wonderful things can and will happen.
- “The world without is a reflection of the world within.” (Charles Haanel)
- Incorporate two chief practices into your life: Gratitude and Forgiveness. Showing daily gratitude helps you appreciate all the wonderful blessings in your life. Forgiving myself, and others, for poor choices helped you to move from the things that no longer serve you. Simply put, I allowed yourself to ‘Let the Shit Go!’
- People grow apart and interests change. You don’t owe anybody anything so if you no longer have that spark or connection with someone or a particular circle then do yourself a favour and move on.
- Discuss ideas with like-minded people who share your vision and will help you to achieve your goals. Surround yourself with amazing people whose actions, attitude, and life purpose will serve you, benefit you, and add life fulfilment. Be a torchbearer for others and offer your services to benefit and enrich the lives of those around you.
Exercise: 3 Steps to Create Healthier Circles
- Do this exercise for each circle in your life.
- 1) Identify Circle: Personal/Social, Professional, Spiritual/Religious, Hobby/Special
- Interest, Health and Fitness, etc.
- 2a) Who/What in this Circle Serves Me:
- List the people, events, experiences, etc. that benefit you and make your life better.
- 2b) Who/What in this Circle Doesn’t Serve Me:
- List the people, events, experiences, etc. that don’t benefit you and take away from the overall quality of your life.
- 3) Take Action
- Make the decision to delete and remove those people, events, experiences, etc. that don’t serve you and replace with those that do serve you. After you take out something negative YOU MUST REPLACE IT with something positive. When you take something away you are creating an empty space so it’s important to fill that void with something good and beneficial.
Chapter 6: Values
- A value is a hot button that drives a person’s behavior.
- Everything you do in your life, in your year, in your week, in your day, is a means to an end and this end is always the fulfilment of a value. You do whatever it is that you do to either move towards pleasurable feelings that fulfil certain values or to move away from (avoid) painful feelings, which fulfil other values.
- Since values drive our behaviors, and we want our behaviors to make us happy, it is important that our values are aligned.
- Many people have very little if any awareness of their values. They are on autopilot.
- Do not be afraid to scrutinize your values. Look at what fits and what is no longer relevant. If it is not relevant then throw it out and replace it with something that is both healthy and appropriate. Keep it simple.
- Utilize small cards that you carry with you. Remind yourself of the no-longer-useful behaviors and of the ones that you are now beginning to implement.
SECTION TWO: FOCUS
Chapter 7: Focus Overview
- Focus is the state or quality of having or producing clear visual definition.
- The ability to focus (and remain focused) is probably one of the most telling yardsticks available for measuring success.
- Training the brain to pay complete attention to the current moment is crucial for personal growth.
- Mindfulness allows us the opportunity to concentrate on what is important at the moment and not be distracted by the noise around us.
- High achievers have always mastered focus.
- Focus is a discipline that can be honed as you would hone your body in the gym. It is in a sense, a mental workout.
- Focus on what is truly important to you
- Question 1: What do I need to focus on specifically?
- Question 2: WHY?
- If your “why” is big enough you will not have to worry about focusing.
- Motivation only comes after action has been initiated.
- Rather than hoping for the right motivation you should invest your time in developing “why” you really want that thing you desire. Your “why” for deciding.
- History is full of stories of intense focus and determination. Biographies of some of the greatest minds of our time are filled with feats of tremendous focus.
- In the words of Bruce Lee, “The successful warrior is the average person with laser-like focus.”
- If you can’t focus effectively then you can’t think effectively. And if you can’t think effectively then you definitely can’t produce the quality of work necessary to be successful.
- A focused mind is an uncluttered mind!
- Your ability to focus has a direct impact on your ability to succeed.
- Stay absolutely focused on what you want, not what you don’t want!
- The secret to all success is to be able to stay focused on exactly what you want regardless of how long it takes, or how slow it is moving along, or what temporary setbacks there are.
- Focus is about realizing that you will do whatever it takes to get the work done and if the work is done then the goal will be achieved.
- Some people want success but they do not want the sacrifice that goes with it.
Chapter 8: Reflections
- Your reflection is the only tool that you will need to solve those nagging frustrations that seem to be holding you down and making your life less than stellar.
- Take the time to really study yourself and your daily life in the mirror.
- Your reflection is you. That reflection is also a canvas that you can use to create whatever image you wish. Get to know your reflection.
- How you feel about yourself is going to impact how you see yourself, which will, in turn impact how others see you and interact with you.
Chapter 9: What is My Aim?
- If you don’t know where you are going then any path will get you there.
- Your future, your goals, your dreams and your desires need to be specific if you are to create an action plan to make it a reality rather than just an empty pipe dream.
- You need to have a clear picture of how you want your life to be, otherwise how the heck will you ever get there.
- What is your aim in life? Be specific.
- Create your own little list. Make it something that has meaning for you.
- Get rid of the distractions! You cannot hit the bull’s-eye if you cannot focus through all of the noise. Clear the clutter that is stopping you from being the very best version of you possible.
Chapter 10: Define Your Goal
- Now that you’ve gained complete clarity with what you want and you know your purpose, it is time to define your goal.
- YOU WANT TO ACHIEVE OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
- SMART Goal, conveying what you want in a way that’s specific and quantifiable.
- A SMART Goal is an acronym and has certain criteria that must be met.
- S Simple, Specific
- M Measurable, Meaningful to you
- A Achievable, As if now, All areas of your life
- R Realistic, Responsible (ecological)
- T Time-based, Towards what you want
- Most people never get what they want because they set vague and wishy washy goals. They aren’t definite about their aim and they become disappointed when they repeatedly fail. It’s absolutely important that you gain complete clarity with what you want.
- Once you have complete clarity with what you want, you need to achieve laser focus with defining your goal.
Chapter 11: Achieving Your Goal
- Those who truly want something and are willing to put in the work, do so, because they unconditionally want it.
- Want vs. Want to Want
- Consider the word attraction in Law of Attraction and you’ll see the word ACTION! This means you have to do something.
- If you truly want to transform your dreams into reality then you must be ready and willing to take massive action.
- You have to know where you are going and be able to hold a clear image of your desired outcome. If you don’t know where you are going then how will you know when you get there?
- Once you decide a course of action then you must be ready and willing to make a 100% commitment of effort.
- So how do you get what you want?
- DEVELOP AN EXACT PLAN THAT WILL PRODUCE THE DESIRED RESULT. TAKE CLEAR AND FOCUSED ACTION. STICK TO THIS COURSE UNTIL IT’S DONE
SECTION THREE: MASTERY
Chapter 12: Mastery Overview
- The only way to become masterful with anything you do is to practice. Like the old saying goes, “practice makes perfect.”
- Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection we can catch excellence. (Vince Lombardi)
Chapter 13: Mindset
- Mindset is much more than positive words and inspirational videos. It is at the core of who we are as beings.
- Mindset is a set of assumptions, methods, and beliefs held by a person or group that is so engrained and well established that it creates a powerful incentive to continue to adopt or accept prior behaviors and choices.
- Fixed mindset is a belief that basic qualities like IQ, talents, and personality are permanent traits.
- The fixed mindset is unfortunately the most common as well as the most harmful, so it’s worth understanding and considering how it’s affecting you.
- Individuals with a fixed mindset do not have the freedom to question what is happening in their life. These people continually look for examples that will back up any assumptions they have about lack of talent or whatever else.
- Generally with this fixed mindset people define themselves by their failures.
- Growth Mindset is a belief that IQ, talents, and personality can be developed through dedication and hard work, which is quite a different approach than the fixed mindset.
- One of the most important aspects of the growth mindset is that failure is nothing more than feedback. Failure is neither a judgment nor a label; it is only a form of tracking and calibration.
- Mastery is all about the ritual of action for action sake. Honing a skill with such intention, purpose, and intensity that there could be no other outcome but expertise. This is where people usually talk about the 10,000-hour rule. If you are not familiar, it is said that in order to become an expert in a particular field a person needs. 10,000 hours of experience. Then – poof – you are an expert!
- Mindset needs to move away from a fixed concept and needs to move toward a growth concept. Once you begin to create a mindset that is not fixed but flexible and adaptable it will become easier to understand that there is no failure, only feedback.
Chapter 14: Modelling Excellence
- “Modelling” as it is taught in Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) is the process of adopting the specific behaviors, language, strategies, and beliefs of another person or exemplar in order to build a model of what they do.
- NLP modelling is simply the process of recreating excellence.
- Simply put, it is about achieving an outcome by studying how someone else goes about creating that outcome.
- NLP modelling involves transferring what an expert thinks they know and what they unconsciously know into a repeatable pattern of events that will produce a consistent outcome and then being able to transfer that behavior to others.
- There are three phases: observation, finding the difference that makes the difference, and designing a method to teach the behavior or skill. Observing the model involves fully imagining yourself in someone else’s reality by using what NLP calls a second position shift. The focus here is on three key points:
- “What” the person does (behavior and physiology)
- “How” they do it (internal thinking strategies)
- “Why” they do it (supporting beliefs and assumptions)
Chapter 15: Rituals for Success
- Human beings are creatures of habit. We have behaviors that we do a certain way, every day, day in and day out.
- The only way to get great results is to do things in a great way. If you want to become a master at something then you must produce masterful behaviors consistently and you do that through practice. It takes dedicated repetition to master any art. By doing these behaviors over and over you will create habits or rituals for success.
- Successful behaviors precede successful outcomes.
- Start to recognize your current behaviors and habits; taking note of which are effective and produce desired results and which are ineffective and wasteful. Keep the good habits and eliminate the bad ones.
- If you really want to incorporate better behaviors and create rituals for success then here’s a simple three-step process that is guaranteed to work:
- STEP 1: Find someone who is exactly where you want to be
- STEP 2: Ask the person to tell you how they do it
- STEP 3: DO IT THE EXACT SAME WAY
Chapter 16: Collaboration
- Collaboration is key across all industries because you’ll always have to work alongside others and your ability to do so effectively will determine the level of results you produce.
- You should also know that collaboration is less about finding the best of the best and more about the combination of good people working together to be great.
- Never be the smartest person in the room or find comfort in being the big fish in a small pond because this will drastically impede your growth.
- Enlist the services of a coach or mentor that you trust to impart the right way of doing things and empower you to unlock your true potential.
SECTION FOUR: CONTROL
Chapter 17: Control Overview
- The power to direct or influence behavior towards a desired course of events – that’s control. It’s what you can control vs. what you cannot control. These are your personal strengths.
Chapter 18: Orientation Towards Success
- Wherever you are in life and no matter where you are going, you need to be the one taking control.
- Great works of art aren’t created in a single sitting and breathtaking architecture isn’t built overnight.
- You are responsible for creating your success and you should be willing and ready to hold yourself accountable.
- Be the captain of your ship by taking total control of your business and life.
- Once you have a proper heading then you must stay the course. Calibrate if necessary and adjust for obstacles.
- It’s more important to be constant and consistent than to rush right out and fall down exhausted. Slow and steady wins the race.
- Let’s look at the 4-A’s: acquire, assimilate, apply, and assess.
- Acquire – Learn new information (or behavior, practice, etc.)
- Assimilate – Integrate the information and make it a part of you
- Apply – Consciously employ the information
- Assess – Gauge the results
- By using this method and then measuring your results you’ll be able to see if anything needs to be adjusted or fixed.
Chapter 19: Recognize Opportunities and Take Initiative
- The greatest achievers are those who recognize opportunities and take immediate action. Sir Richard Branson is quoted as saying, “If someone offers you an amazing opportunity and you’re not sure you can do it, say yes, then learn how to do it later.”
- The first step is the ability to recognize opportunities.
- The second step is to take the initiative to act.
- The third step is to check your results.
- “The best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. The second best time is now.” (Chinese Proverb)
Chapter 20: Important vs. Unimportant Matrix
- The steps:
- Create a very specific to-do list that includes how long it will take to complete each item.
- Prioritize the list.
- Turn off distractions such as email, text, and social media alerts.
- Put your head down and focus your attention on one item for the duration of time determined.
- When the time is up then evaluate your progress and either revisit your list or move on to the next item.
- Focus your attention on the top two items in each category, as this will be manageable and achievable.
Chapter 21: I Control (part 1)
- You, and only you, control your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors.
- To be in control is a decision.
- Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy” (Thich Nhat Hanh)
- Studies indicated that smiling, even if one is not feeling happy, could slow heart rate and decrease perceived levels of stress. Smiling sends a signal to the rest of your body that things are okay and it’s safe to let down your guard.
- You are today where your thoughts have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you. (James Allen)
- A man is literally what he thinks, his character being the complete sum of all his thoughts. (James Allen)
- Our thoughts become the words that we speak. They are the origins of our behaviors and the shaper of attitudes and beliefs, which then become behaviors and actions and eventually transform into the defining character traits that will be spoken about us at our eulogy.
- Like attracts like. Thinking happy thoughts sends positive energy out into the Universe and will unconsciously begin attracting positivity back into your life.
Chapter 22: I Control (part 2)
- Control is all about living a life that you design, not a life that is designed by others.
- Decide to be the architect of your own life, there are no limits or barriers.
- Control is not about forcing it is about framing. Reframe and control how YOU act in the situation. Move into a positive frame in all situations.
- You control it all!” It is really all about you and how you choose to see the events in your life.
- Are you the architect of what happens to you or are you the victim?
- The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be. (Ralph Waldo Emerson)
SECTION FIVE: INTEGRAL YOU
Chapter 24: Body
- You are more than what you just see and what you can touch and sense. Your body is also energy and that energy exists at three different states: Gross, Subtle and Very Subtle Body
Chapter 25: Mind
- Traditional wisdom has always separated the mind into the big three: first person, second person, and third person.
- The “I” dimension includes the personal experiences and intentions occurring within the individual (the inner self). The “We” dimension (you and I) involves shared meaning and mutual understanding among people. We would call this the inner collective or second person. The “It” dimension entails all outer, objective manifestation, or the third person perspective, and is completely separate from our inner consciousness as well as our inner collective consciousness.
Chapter 26: Spirit
- There are many ways of defining “spirituality” and what “spiritual practice” means. Some people refer to spirituality as a special state of consciousness, some as a level of development, and some as its own developmental line.
- Our spirit is that part of us that connects to whatever we as individuals call the “source.”
- Our spirit, our spirituality, is what makes us connected to ourselves and to everything else in existence, material or immaterial, human or otherwise.
Chapter 27: Shadow
- What is your shadow? For thousands of years scholars and regular folks alike have been struggling to understand the shadow and how it can affect our lives. It is crucial to be profoundly honest with ourselves about our shadow, or unconscious, or false self, or dishonesty, or disowned self, or any part of ourselves that we unconsciously repress and deny.
- You are much, much more than just your body. You are your body, your mind, your spirit, and you are your shadow.
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