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You Can Be Right About Everything and Still Have Nothing | VICKIE GRIFFITH Interview
https://www.vickiegriffith.com/
Vickie’s Personal Transformation Story Hi, I am Vickie Griffith and struggled with my weight until I stopped dieting. As a shy (I choose to use the word reserved) fat, unhappy teenager, I lived every day as a wallflower. Due to my lack of confidence and low self-esteem, I was really good at sabotaging any efforts to lose weight and keep it off. That is until I lost 49+ pounds have kept it off for over 18 years using simple, easy-to-implement tools that stopped the food cravings, managed anxiety, and stop the sabotage. I went from a ho-hum, unhappy, fat existence as a teenager to Certified Hypnotist, Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) professional, speaker, regularly featured radio and TV show guest. Also, an author of Stucked UP! A BreakThrough Path to Unstuck and Co-Author of Life Boosts with two New York Times Best Selling Authors, a Licensed Minister, and an adjunct Professor at the University of Richmond. Audience members talk about my infectious enthusiasm and deceptively low-key, casual approach. I love to travel throughout the country offering keynotes, coaching, and workshops. My husband (Terry) and I kept moving south to get out of the cold Michigan winters. Moving to Virginia for 15 years. When the winter was getting too cold there we moved further south. We now live in Florida with our two dogs Surrey and Kim. I have become one of those Floridians that I use to laugh at. All bundled up when it is 70 degrees outside. Seriously, coat, mittens, and scarf. Funny how life changes.
My Movie VICKIE
[00:00:00] Best Book Bits podcast. It brings you Vicky Griffith, professional speaker, sales and business consultant, weight loss expert and author of the book. You can be right about everything and still have nothing. Vicky, thanks for being on the show. Thank you for the invitation. I appreciate it. No worries. Now tell us about your story about how you started on a health journey to become a sort of weight loss expert and yeah how it all started from back in the day.
Let, started the day I was born. No, I’m just kidding. , literally I did, I was always fat. I was a chubby little toddler and I a fat little girl. Here in the states when I was younger to buy jeans, I had to buy boys huskies cuz that’s what fit me. And so I struggled with the self-image of weight my whole life, basically.
And that led me to become an observer of human behavior. So even as a [00:01:00] child, I would stand in the playground and go, why is Susie playing with Jimmy? And how come Jimmy’s reacting that way? And why are they saying such mean things to me? And so I was always in that observational mode. What’s going on with this person?
Or why are they looking like that? Or why do they feel like that? Or why are they acting out like that? So that was always, that’s where the curiosity came from, was childhood and being in that outcast, misfit position when I was a child that I never really felt I belonged. So I was always curious about what was going on for people that would make them act the way they do and react the way.
The weight loss journey started, like I said, always dieting, always trying to figure out what’s the next, next best secret for weight loss. What I realize there wasn’t one, and most people are still looking, but there isn’t one. You can read everything about the latest, greatest diet and it will work for a while.
[00:02:00] But for emotional eaters like. , it won’t. It won’t last because the drive is the emotional fulfillment or numbing of something rather than the nourishment of our bodies. And that’s what I decided to do. I finally gave up dieting and that’s when I released 70 pounds. When was this? How long ago was this?
Oh my gosh. Over 20 years ago. Yeah. And one of your stories is, yeah, you You, the day you stopped dieting was the day you actually got the health right through there as well. When did you start the journey of teaching other people and becoming a weight loss expert? And yeah, getting into that as well which came first was the sales and business consulting or the weight loss thing and, how did your story unfold from after when you started teaching people or when was what was fascinating and you might want, some people will call them god wink, some people will call them nudgers for about six.
Ago I started getting this acknowledgement that I was helping my weight loss clients [00:03:00] with their business. And it occurred to me that I have been in business for quite a long time and I of knew what I was doing. And so that’s why they were asking me for advice. And therefore, as I watched my clients unfold with their weight release, I also noticed the same belief system.
Keeping them struggling in their business. So it didn’t matter if someone was saying, there isn’t enough food for me on this diet, or There isn’t enough business for me in my business. It came from the same limiting belief. There’s not enough, and they felt they weren’t enough. So once we started working on those belief systems, sure enough, clients started coming in, the weight started being.
So that’s how they came, that’s how they were married together. And that’s how they came separately is this awareness within myself that I was already helping clients with their [00:04:00] business. And part of the struggle for most entrepreneurs, especially in small business owners, is sales. And sales is all about yourself,
It’s not about convincing someone else. It’s not. Persuading. It’s not about taking care of their objections, it’s about what do you believe about money sales and helping someone through sales that is keeping you from staying in the conversation long enough to help them and really coach them through a decision whether it’s yes or no, and feel comfortable and confident that you’ve done everything you.
to help that person make the right decision for them. Yeah. Isn’t that interesting? I’ve never had someone put that together. So the mental side of weight loss also translates to the mental side of [00:05:00] sales, money, business, even relationships. I guess what you’re really saying is, People spend so much time researching looking outward about, what’s the latest tip hack and I’m part of the yo-yo craze as well.
I’m not on a diet at the moment, I was on keto recently. I’m up and down with my weight. But really until speaking to experts like yourself that. It’s a journey and it’s not a, it’s not a program that’s not a definite time. And until you go internally and actually hook yourself in the mirror and realize that you do have these subconscious, unconscious programs and beliefs and all the thing, all the emotional stuff that’s around food and even sales as well.
It’s all interconnected. Yeah. Really interesting. We’ll deep dive into that in a moment as well. Talk to me a little bit about You’re a certified hypno hyp hypnotist, or is it hypnosis and emotional freedom technique? What is emotional freedom technique and how can we use that?
I appreciate the question. Thank you. Yes. I’m a hypnotherapist. I always learned, and [00:06:00] it was intuitive. It wasn’t anything I must, through the observation that I had as a child, that our thoughts and beliefs were really what was driving. Into our behaviors and actions. So if we wanna change a habit, then you need to change as you think about that habit.
So somewhere along the line I’ve learned about that and I studied about that through some of the greats Louise Hayes Wayne Dyer. A lot of the, a lot of attraction experts talk about what you think about you get and through science, I’m fascinated by Howard Brains in our neuroscience work.
That all came about. And then I started learning about energy and energy in our body and these energy pathways in our body. An emotional freedom technique is also called eft, which also stands for electronic funds transfer, which I’m pretty, I’m okay with those. I like those. But in the last probably 15 years, a couple of brother and sisters, some siblings took emotional freedom.
And they started marketing it as [00:07:00] tapping. So a lot of people know it as tapping. And what it is basically using your fingers to tap on meridian endpoints, acupuncture points if you like to call ’em that, to release whatever’s going on for you. And it’s a really fun technique that is fabulously. and that’s what I’m trying to do is give my clients and myself relief quickly.
We want to get over this now. We don’t want to have to wail about it or feel badly about it or cry about it for long periods of time. Those are all wonderful things to do, but I’ve got other things in my life going on, and so focusing and knowing that if whatever I focus in, I get more of. So I wanted to learn how to release issues quickly.
from crushing cravings. So I can teach someone how to crush their free cravings in 30 seconds. And most people think that with a craving, they just have to wait it out while they’re miserably [00:08:00] looking through the window at the donut shop or the pastry shop because that’s what we’ve been taught we needed to do, or they need to try to avoid it, but they won’t stop thinking about it.
And this actually takes away. , the thought and the feeling. So I’m a left brain person. I’m very analytical. I look at things in a scientific way and hypnosis, I could filter into that by qualifying some of the things I’d seen in Science. EFT was so bizarre to me that the first time I got it was on a cassette.
If you know what that is. Do you know what that is? . Okay. So without a cassette tape, and I put it in my little soy walkman and I started listening to it. I’m like, this is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard in my life. And I put it away. [00:09:00] But as I said, I struggled with weight and food for my entire life, and I was having one of those moments that alls I could think about was a chocolate chip cookie in my closet in the food.
And I kept trying to avoid it and I kept trying to annoy and be avoid a bit and I kept trying to walk away from it, but I wouldn’t stop thinking about it. So I took that cassette down out of the closet and I listened to it and I did the technique she was training, which was e ft. Her emotional freedom techniques and.
30 minutes later, I was out in my neighborhood walking, which I hadn’t planned. I hadn’t scheduled. It wasn’t like I had to go for a walk at such and such a time in the afternoon. I just was out there and I stopped dead in my tracks because I realized at that moment, I felt emotionally free from food for the first time ever.
And in the past, if I felt emotionally free from a food for even a few micro. The thought of the food would [00:10:00] bring the craving back, and that did not happen. So I really truly was free, and that’s when I went back and I learned from the founder everything that I could, became as advanced as I could in the technique.
It’s, it really is quick and it can help people overcome traumas, phobias actually pretty quickly. Cravings, as I said, whether it’s cigarettes or food a. . And it can help with trauma from the past in a very safe way that people are usually astounded that it can move away from them, not quickly when they’ve suffered from it, thought about it worried over it for years and maybe even decades.
Whatever may have happened in. . Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Thank you for sharing. Isn’t it interesting that over time we know that if you do a workout, it changes your physiology? Anyone that hears a new technique or of something, first it’s ridiculed, then it’s laughter, then it’s like evidently accepted, like breath [00:11:00] work.
Now everyone’s. Or about breath work, cuz breath work changes your physiology and your state. People talk about ice baths, people talk about this and that. But when someone hears about, oh what’s EFT or what’s tapping sounds a bit cuckoo. And then realize that, it actually probably works.
You said you can crush cravings in 30 seconds. I’m sure my audience or people listening to this go in. 30 seconds. Go teach us. Is it, can you teach us in 30 seconds? Tap in? What do we do? How do we crush cravings in, in 30 seconds? I’m not an emotional eater, but I do enjoy eating and I eat for pleasure.
So it’s part of my, A thing with food. I remember, I’ll tell you a personal story. I, my food problem started when I think I was 17. I used to work at kfc, Kentucky Fried Chicken. And we used, it’s too late shift. And when we finished, they gave us like 10 minutes to eat as much as possible.
Now think about this, a 17 year old kid growing fast food, you got 10 minutes to [00:12:00] literally stuff your face, and that was. 10 o’clock at night. So you could imagine for 10 minutes with other peers of your roaches watches stuff in your mouth with food. And this went on for like maybe a year or two. Maybe I’ll start when I was 16, 17, and I think I put on 30 kilos.
But that actually I changed some wiring of. I wasn’t eating for sustenance. I was just eating for the pleasure of food, and that stuck around. I’m still I still have those issues that I just eat for pleasure not for hunger as well. Anyway, that’s just a random story, but how do we crush our cravings in 30 seconds?
By tapping, what would you suggest? Was it there also could have been, not for sure, but could have been some time of mentality that it’s free and I should eat as much as I can because it’s. . Yeah. Every, yeah we all want to take advantage of things that are free to us. And I see that a lot in how we determine our mindset when we go to those fast food restaurants.[00:13:00]
Oh, look, alls I really want is a cheeseburger, but look for, a dollar or two more, I can get the fries in the soda with it. And they used to have a coupon, so back and there was like two, two twisters for $4. So it was like buy one get one free. And I used to live off that. But anyway, it’s just, I know that’s when my food.
Issues started through there and yeah, I would never recommend my kids to, to work at a fast food place just because the bad emotional attachments of food through there. But yeah, 30 seconds to crush your cravings. What does someone do to change their state? There is a protocol for it, and you can actually go to crush cravings.com.
Sign up to see videos of me showing you how to do this in 30 seconds or less. It takes a little bit longer than that to learn. I’ll be glad to share it with you all. But you can also go there and that way you’ll have them to in, in your, available to you so that you can go back and look at them. So I know what you’re, I get what you’re saying is [00:14:00] I enjoy food as well, and there’s oftentimes when I am feeling full and satisfy.
and I still want more, even though I know logically I don’t need more. And so you can use this technique for that too, to help with that craving as well. But what you do is you tap as it’s called now, with your fingertips. I’m right hand dominant. I use my right hand. You’re gonna use at least two fingers on either hand.
It doesn’t quite matter. It’s called emotional acupuncture without the needles. So we’re gonna be using Meridian end. So if you’re familiar with acupuncture or Accu pressure, you might be aware of some of these. What these do is they eliminate emotions, so each one is attached to different emotions. It also is a connection to an organ in your body, and that’s all information you can find on Google.
I also have that as well, so if somebody wants to reach out to me, I’ll be glad to give them the information I have as well. We always start [00:15:00] on what’s called the karate. , which is the between your pinky and your wrist bone on your opposite hand, and you just tap lightly. Now know that these points are about the size of the end of a pen and like a sewing needle rather than a writing pen, right?
So they’re very tiny. So two fingers should get it, and then you repeat after me. You willing to play? Yeah. So you would have a food in. This is bothersome for you. It could be a piece of candy. It could be bread. You could have it in front of you. You don’t have to, and you would rate zero to 10 what the level of intensity is.
10 is, it’s really strong. Some people for chocolate will say it’s 25 and zero is, I don’t have a craving for this or a feeling for it right now. So just have a food in mind and then go ahead and in your mind just to sign a number. You don’t even have to. And then say, along with me, even though I, and the why I this craving four, I have this craving four.[00:16:00]
And if you don’t mind sharing, go ahead and fill in the blank. It’s a Vietnamese roll. All right. I deeply anchor completely. I deeply and completely love and accept myself, love and accept myself, even though I have this craving for a Vietnam. Even though I have this craving for a Vietnam Vietnamese role, for a Vietnamese role, it’s called a bar Me
Deeply and completely. I deeply and completely love and accept myself. Love and accept myself. Do that one more time, even though I have this, even though I have this craving. And it feels insatiable and it feels ins. I deeply and completely, I deeply and completely appreciate my mind and body, appreciate my mind and body.
And you go to the top of your head and you say, this craving for your Vietnamese roll craving for a Vietnamese roll. See, it is silly. I’m glad you’re laughing. And this eyebrow, beginning your eyebrow, bridge your nose. I have this craving for Vietnam Vietnamese role. I have this craving [00:17:00] for a Vietnamese role.
Now that I’m thinking about it, I can’t stop thinking about it. Now that I’m thinking about it, I can’t stop thinking about it. Not underneath through I, I can’t believe she’s making me do this. I can’t believe she’s making me do this, but I asked for it. Under your nose. Under your nose, right above your lips.
Said this craving for this roll, craving for this roll me your lips. Usually I can’t stop thinking about it. Usually I can’t stop thinking about it. The next place is either collar, bed, doesn’t matter which side. I always cross my body and it’s right in the little dip here with collar bed. I have experienced this craving.
I’ve experienced this craving for a Vietnamese roll, for a Vietnamese roll, and I’m okay. I’m okay. I don’t have the craving anymore. Exactly. See, and you haven’t even finished yet. The other one is underneath your arm, which is the silliest one. And just say this craving. Take a deep breath.
So if I was doing that technique with you, without teaching you, it would probably have been 20 seconds that you would’ve given. Straight away [00:18:00] interest. Wow. So for my listeners out there, if you are craving something, definitely check out the tap in video on Vicky’s website as well. But yeah we didn’t get you on the show to talk about the tap in.
We got you on the show to talk about your book. So can you tell me a little bit about your book? I know you’ve got two books out there. The book is called You Can Be Right About Everything and Still Have Nothing. When did it come out and what motivated you to to write the book? It came.
November of 2020. So right during the pandemic, I seem to have an awful lot of time to write a book. And so 2019, 2020 that’s when it all came together. But how it came about was I was sitting in a parked car with a friend of. and we were about ready to go. We were going shopping that day, so we were about ready to go to our next shopping adventure and getting out of the car, and she just blurted out very loudly.
He did it [00:19:00] again and it took me back cuz we weren’t even talking about anything about relationships or husbands or any of that kind of thing. And said, I don’t understand what you’re saying. He did it again. He did what he came out of the laundry. and I went in to go wash some clothes and the washing machine was on cold.
And when I confronted him about that, he said he didn’t do it. I didn’t do it. There’s only two of us that lives here. So he had to have done it. He just cannot. He cannot admit when he. and she was really worked up at this point. She was like over the top, worked up and no matter what I said, she wasn’t in the place where she wanted to calm down.
We finished our shopping experience. I took her home and about an hour later I got a call and she said, Vicky, I’m on my way, a hospital with a heart attack. I’m like, all right, I’ll meet you there. So as [00:20:00] I’m watching, again, the observer as I was as a child, I’m watching. , all of the nurses and the doctors scatter all around her.
And I hear that they’re going to admit her in the hospital for the evening. And she was going to meet with cardiologist the next day. I got her settled into her room, went home, came back the next morning and she goes there’s nothing wrong with my heart. Oh, okay. She goes, there’s gonna send me home this morning.
Great. That’s fabulous. But it dawned on me that how committed she was to prove that she, he was wrong and that she was right. She was willing to die for that belief. And then I wondered what am I willing to die for? What belief system are I willing to buy to die for that I play with every single.
and it causes struggle and it causes me to stay stuck. And [00:21:00] maybe I need to look at those belief systems about proving those misguided beliefs are right. And that’s how it all started. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, the subtitle’s called How to Give Up The Need to Be Right and Get What You Want. Yeah, really interesting.
Thank you for sharing that story, isn’t it? Isn’t that fascinating that the idea of a book or the idea of something can spark from just a real life ethics? Experience of witnessing something and then realizing, hey what’s this about? You talk about in the book chapter one, no, nothing else matters.
And one of the things you talk about is you need to be right and you write everything that is sabotaging your efforts to achieve more success stems from your need to be right. You believe that you can’t get to the next level and you’re looking for something to prove that you are right. You want to prove to yourself and everyone else that your failure to get to the next level is not your fault.
Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we have these sort of, why are we looking for what they call. Subconscious biases or that we are looking for [00:22:00] events to prove that our circumstances are correct and giving ourselves like a doorway out, like a back door. Be like, oh, okay, I failed because of this.
And we’re always looking for excuses. Why is this why is this need to be? For, can you expand on that a little bit? It stems from many different things, but what I’ve come through my practice, I’ve noticed that there’s four, I call ’em self sabotage, arche. and all of these, or any of these can come through several experiences that we had.
They always come up before the age of 10. We’ve come up with these conclusions about ourselves, and it’s based on what someone might e actually even say to you. So unfortunately, many of my clients, their parents said to them, you’re stupid. You’ll never amount to anything. What’s wrong with you? Why are you even trying that?
Those type of. That it’s imprinted in your subconscious mind and you create belief systems around that, [00:23:00] and you keep proving those, right? Even if you did not enjoy your parents at all, or it could have been a authority figure in your life, it could have just been observing. So a lot of times we will be in a situation where adults are talking about some subject.
and let me give you an example. So being a young child sitting on the floor playing with blocks or, I had a little barn set that I had. We had little horses and cows and stuff. So I’d be sitting on the floor playing my aunts and my grandmother and my mom are sitting in the other room talking about how horrible menopause symptoms are.
And then guess what happens when menopause? , you start experiencing those symptoms and you’re thinking, how did that program get in there? It was from that conversation you overheard. So a lot of times I’ll hear people say I can’t get another job because I’m 50. Where did that come from? I see people working well into their seven eighties and nineties being very [00:24:00] successful, but yet you don’t think you can get another job at 50 and you need to stay at the one you’re at.
Bem. , it often comes from something that was said or observed as a child. So those imprinted limiting beliefs we decide to take on and keep proving those are right, whether it’s conscious or unconscious. How do we how do we go back and find these out? It’s interesting that I had a conversation a while ago with a top, celebrity personal development guy.
Everyone knows his name if I’ve said his name and he’s talked about childhood traumas, and I was like, look, I don’t really wanna get into that. And. People don’t really wanna talk about that. But at the end of the day we do have a lot of repressed, subconscious, limited beliefs and a lot of things now childhood that really made us into the adults that we are today and stuffed us up for good or worse as well.
You’re either driving into something or you’re either driving from something and a lot of these stems from our childhood and early years and upbringing. How do we bring something that’s subconscious that we don’t even know [00:25:00] about to the surface? What do we do with that?
Do we try to seek help or how do we uncover these? Do we get a coach, a consultant? Do we do, who do we seek out? Like where does someone start from trying to uncover some of these limiting beliefs subconsciously that they have Great question. And all of the above.
So coaches. therapist, doctors, all of that for sure. And also say, don’t be so hard on yourself about, I’ve gotta figure this out. You’re getting clues every single day that something from your past created this habit that you have, that you don’t like, whatever it might be. Maybe it’s sabotaging yourself, so you don’t go to the.
So every morning you make, or every night you make the decision, you’re gonna get up at 5:00 AM to go to the gym, and every morning at 5:00 AM when the alarm goes off, you shut it to snooze for three or four times. So you don’t have enough time to go to the gym before you go [00:26:00] to work. So that’s a clue that somewhere along the line, someone said something to you or something happened and you interpreted it in a way.
that made you feel perhaps that it wasn’t worth it. No matter how hard you try it’s not gonna work for you. All of those type of things. So it’s really hard to say what the belief system would be, but that’s how you start. As you look at your everyday life, where are you stalling for your better good?
Whether it’s your health, whether it’s a relationship, whether it is in money or. Your career, your job, you’re gonna have clues. Are you telling yourself, just like I mentioned with that 50 year old that he said he couldn’t get another job at 50? Through some work that we did together, guess what? Now?
A vp and he’s over 50. , that wasn’t true. It wasn’t ever true, but in his mind it was for. Yeah. Yeah. Thanks for sharing. And in the book you talk [00:27:00] about we have this runaway thought train and we never take the time to stop, think, rewind the track, rewind the tape a little bit, and look at, get ourselves into this funk of of negative thoughts.
And I was sharing this story the other day. I got myself into a bit of a bit of a down moment. I had to stop and reflect and think, hang on a second, I know the answer to this. And I walked back to Attorney Robbins quote, and it was basically ask yourself, quality questions create a quality life, successful people ask better questions and as a result they get better answers.
And I thought, ask myself a better question. And I looked back and I was like, hang on a second. You’re living the life. You’re living your dreams that you had years ago. You are basically full-time at home with the kid. You’re given a great life. And I just had to ask myself a better question to get myself out for funk.
And I guess sometimes we have these runaway thought trains that continue to go, but until you apply the brakes and then say, hang on a second a lot of people struggle with these consistent, repetitive thoughts every day and, 95% of ’em probably, [00:28:00] habitually negative at what?
Some suggestions to stop the runaway thought train and get ’em back on the right track as well. The example that you just gave was beautiful, and that’s why Tony Robbins does what he does, right? He said, you can help people. Overcome their belief systems. And that’s exactly what you do, is you just say, stop.
Wait a minute, this isn’t how I want to think. And often when I’m, when I have that and I say, stop, or I say Cancel, clear, delete. Trying to you use that clear button like on a computer, then I can start asking the better. Or just decide at that very moment. I don’t like how this, the path, this takes me down, so I’m going to stop right here.
Cuz I don’t want the outcome to be what it normally is and therefore I’m, I just make a decision. I’m not doing that. And I choose a different thought. [00:29:00] Cancel your delete. Very powerful. Cause I use it actually quite often because you’re right, 95% of our thoughts are negative and that’s been proven.
by science. I don’t know who the person was with a clicker that was counting, but , that’s what they say through every study over and over again. And the repetitive thoughts too, which is really fascinating to me that our brain keeps repeating those negative thoughts. So what are you gonna get? The negative outcome?
So if we could just calm 10% of them, imagine how much better our lives would be and how happier would be even just 10. and I know that we could do more to move through that. When I first started, not dieting, so I was done with dieting forever. I went on a mental diet. And a mental diet was to say no to those negative thoughts.
That’s all I had to do was just say no. And the first day it was exhausting. It was absolutely, I felt [00:30:00] like every second of every waking. , a negative thought would come up, a criticizing thought would come up and I would have to say no. And then the second day, it wasn’t as much. By the end of the week, there were bigger gaps in between the criticism and saying no.
And so those bigger gaps, I could rest in those for a little while and that’s where I could find my emotional freedom too, is I could rest in those. And they became longer and longer. Soon it became several days without a negative criticizing thought or judging, thought about myself, and they still creep up.
And I still do the same thing, either. Just decide, no, cancel clear, delete. Go look for another thought. So what do I want to think about this? I wanna be happy. Isn’t that the bottom line that we all wanna just be. . So money’s in, of course, incorporated in it. And [00:31:00] relationships, of course, are incorporated in it.
But the bottom line is we wanna be happy. So we do that. We’re in charge of that. No one else is just like the person I was telling you about this story. She’s in charge of her happiness and because the washing machine was on cold, she actually sabotaged her health. That’s pretty deep . Yeah, we all do that.
Yeah. That’s crazy. I like what you said. I like what you said about a mental diet. So a lot of people are doing the physical diet, not knowing that if you actually do a mental diet, you’d probably get the results that you’re after physically, because everything starts internally as well. I like how you said about it created these gaps and then he gave you space to actually say, you know what?
It’s like cleaning your room, like declutter in your house. You clutter to a point where there’s nothing left in the room or it’s very clean. Then you get to decide what you wanna put in it. So first, to make space to clear yourself out first of, negative, [00:32:00] unconscious, repetitive thought patterns or whatever it is, and then you consciously put in positive thoughts or, you’d start tuning your attention or your antenna.
To the things you want in your life, instead of the things that you don’t want, which creates negative outcomes, you start forcing positive outcomes by forcing positive thoughts into your mind. Just that switch you talk about in the book who’s in charge of your brain, you are. You also say you’ve got a powerful mind and you believe stories that are not true, and you find facts to support them.
What if you tuned your powerful mind to benefit you rather than trying to keep proving the false beliefs are right? So if you tuned your powerful mind, To benefit you rather than trying to keep your false belief. Can you expand on that a little bit? It’s it’s, isn’t it fascinating the faulty beliefs that we’re clean to?
Yeah, it is. And we do collect evidence. We have solid reasons rather that we collect evidence. What’s really fascinating too, when I was doing this book and doing some research, they did a study that shows that the [00:33:00] brain actually is in, on all of. without us being a participant. So 80% of the stories that we are living our lives by are made up and that’s what’s fascinating to me.
So something happened to you and at six years old. So one of the examples I like to use, cause this happened to me, I was probably a little older, maybe about. There was four of us. We were running through a meadow or a pasture out in some farmland, and it was a two track, so this is where they drove the tractors back and forth to the farms and we were running and all of a sudden this huge, for us it was probably 25 feet long, but it was probably four feet long.
Black snake went across the path. Now, where I’m from, black snakes are considered like gardener snakes. They’re friendly snakes. Basically you want ’em around cuz they helped take care of the past. [00:34:00] But for one of us, she became absolutely insanely scared. Now you couldn’t see the snake after a few seconds, right?
It had just crossed the path and went into the tall grass and was still scared the rest of her life. For one of us, it was like, eh, I see him a lot the time. No, no big deal. For the other two, it was disturb. , but it was something we got over. Now the kid that when she was insanely scared, her brain made up a story that it was 25 foot long and it was chasing after us.
None of that happened. And so that’s what we do with our everyday occurrences from a child is our brain makes up this story. That’s not true. . And so investigating your stories, and again, like you said, it goes with your first, your thoughts. Then you investigate what’s my belief system about that?
And then where did this come from? [00:35:00] And going back to where you may have heard it, experienced it and looking at the story, you meet up about it cuz it may not be true. And this is also, if you look at investigations, the. Detectives will ask the same five questions, the five different people about the experience they just had, and get five different scenarios.
Isn’t that interesting? It’s trauma tattoos on the brain. And for another person that just pencils in the memory and then just gets erased with, short-term memory, but same experience, one tattoos trauma and the other one just pencils in a memory and one person goes off and, the memory fades and the other one goes through life with the trauma, the same event.
And it’s the brain associating meaning. It’s very interesting once you get into the science and nitty. Of it as well. One of the things you talk about in the book moving on is we blame events and people for why we’re stuck as [00:36:00] well. And one of the exercises you say is write down two people or events that you did not realize here blamed for being fat broke or unloved as well.
Why do we associate people and events on circumstances that from the past? How do we move on after. After we realized that we are blaming someone else from it what’s the technique or what do we do from there? For most people will say forgiveness is the answer, but unfortunately the definition of forgiveness is not appropriate for what you, we really need to forgive.
So we’re now we’re asking you to forgive the person that hurt you if that happened I do see a lot of women. Some kind of abuse in their background, and so we’re not forgiving the person that hurt you. We’re not letting them off the hook. None of those type of things. The best definition that I’ve heard for forgiveness is giving up the hope that it [00:37:00] never happened, giving up the hope that you would’ve acted differently, giving up the hope that you know, you could be different.
Is what really needs to happen to and stop blaming people for your life cuz as we talked about several times throughout this, you are the one in charge of your life. You’re the one in charge of your thoughts and your brain. So you can choose something different than letting someone else have power over you for your entire life.
That carries a struggle within. Yeah I’ve got a say in that saying 50% of the result comes from making a decision. So if you want to go or something. So making a decision is you are halfway there. And I think the opposite’s true as well. 50% of moving forward is accepting of. Of the past can’t be changed.
It’s, it’s done, it’s gone, it’s finished. The race has been run and these are the results, but that’s the acceptance of the past. Now your decision is to move on from that as well. So acceptance and decision. I like in the book you took a chapter about what if, and we always, what if about [00:38:00] negative outcomes.
So what if this happens? What if that happens? You want to do this, that’s gonna happen. But you talk about flipping the script and talking about using. What is as positive outcomes? So if you really want, as if it’s already happened, can you talk to me about the power of just flipping that script of, even in sales, oh, what if they don’t answer, but what is it that you close a sale?
What is, if what is, if you, what happens if you do hit your goal? What is, if you do lose weight, what happens if you do make money? What is if that girl that you ask out says yes? Like, How easy it for us to just switch the script of what ifs to positive outcomes. How easy is it?
Sometimes it’s not very easy if you’re really attached to the what if of the negative outcome. And again, that comes from programming, that comes from experience and making up the stories and having solid reasons to back it all up to validate that’s the truth. There’s that piece you’ve gotta give up that you gotta be willing to give up that to.
Look at the possibility of what if, as you [00:39:00] said, what if you did make the sale? There’s a lot of statistics and statistics through my observation, can be made up to the results. Whoever is giving the statistics that they want, but statistics they, we have to be very careful about where they come from, where those.
Findings came from. So we’re not using that as a fact to stay in a place that we’re at. So what if in a positive outlook, so if we’re too attached to the negative, then you need to look at that and get some support to get through that. But the opposite of that is true. Just what is the positive aspect of that.
Now, visualizing is extremely powerful. A lot of science behind it shows that it’s very extremely, because now you’re engaging your mind in. and how to make it even more powerful, even if you don’t believe it is to engage your senses. So what would it feel like emotionally [00:40:00] if that, what if happened? What would it feel like?
Tactally, really. So what does it feel like to drive that Lamborghini, if that’s your dream, or to hold that person? You. Or to caress your child’s face when they’re sleeping. What does that feel like? So that tactile as well as emotional, but what does it, what do you see? What do you hear? What do you taste in involving all of your senses in that picture in your mind?
The mind doesn’t understand what’s real and what’s not. So if you played with that scenario of what if, I think you might be surprised at what happens, will it happen over? It could, might happen three hours from then and might happen three days, three months, three years, 30 years. I, I don’t know for sure, but what I do know is that when your brain is on board with the what if that’s positive, [00:41:00] it solves problems and it’s gonna work for you to get what you’re looking.
Yeah. Thanks for sharing. It’s such a mental game of life. No one really, everyone focuses on the external, but not re realize that, it’s a game of chess. It’s a mental game that you’re playing with yourself. And, we go through our days and we never stop and think about, what was I proud of today?
What did I do different? You know what I’m looking forward to tomorrow. You think about the three buckets of, relationships, health, and finances. They’re all internal. They’re all internal games that manifest externally. You look at a wealthy person, you sit down with ’em and interview them and ask them about their internal belief systems, thoughts, habits, lifestyles, and, outcomes.
They’re gonna be completely different than a poor person. You ask a super fit person, same thing. Habit, lifestyle, beliefs, and you look at someone that’s fat, overweight, unhealthy, they’re gonna be completely different as well. Someone that has a great marriage great husband, great father, or vice versa, great mother or great friend, they’re gonna have completely different things than someone who’s alone, no kids or [00:42:00] unmarried.
Such an internal game that we never stop and think about, okay what game are we playing with ourselves and what programs have we programmed ourself with as well? I find this all very fascinating as well. But look, we can go on your book’s amazing and you do run go through some other stuff as well, apart from, goal setting intentions and plan and other things like that as well.
Where can people find more about yourself? Where do you spend your time on socials and where can they find the book as well? Sure. So my website is vicky griffith.com and from there you could get my book, you can get in touch with me, you can see some of the things I do around weight release as well.
So that’s all there. I’m on LinkedIn under Vicky Griffith. Breakthrough is my business page for both Facebook and LinkedIn. So you can find me. You can find me on YouTube Weight loss with Vicky Griffith. So I’m easy to follow up with. I’ll check it out. I didn’t know you had the YouTube channel.
I’ll check that out [00:43:00] through there as well. Yeah. To my audience out there. F Vicky check out herself. She’s got some really great stuff as well. Thank you for teaching me the tapping technique as well. I’ll definitely use that today when I go past my Vietnamese bakery and wanna get a barmy, but yeah, it’s really thank you for being on the show.
Enjoy the rest of your day and take care. Okay. Appreciate.
https://www.vickiegriffith.com/
Vickie’s Personal Transformation Story Hi, I am Vickie Griffith and struggled with my weight until I stopped dieting. As a shy (I choose to use the word reserved) fat, unhappy teenager, I lived every day as a wallflower. Due to my lack of confidence and low self-esteem, I was really good at sabotaging any efforts to lose weight and keep it off. That is until I lost 49+ pounds have kept it off for over 18 years using simple, easy-to-implement tools that stopped the food cravings, managed anxiety, and stop the sabotage. I went from a ho-hum, unhappy, fat existence as a teenager to Certified Hypnotist, Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) professional, speaker, regularly featured radio and TV show guest. Also, an author of Stucked UP! A BreakThrough Path to Unstuck and Co-Author of Life Boosts with two New York Times Best Selling Authors, a Licensed Minister, and an adjunct Professor at the University of Richmond. Audience members talk about my infectious enthusiasm and deceptively low-key, casual approach. I love to travel throughout the country offering keynotes, coaching, and workshops. My husband (Terry) and I kept moving south to get out of the cold Michigan winters. Moving to Virginia for 15 years. When the winter was getting too cold there we moved further south. We now live in Florida with our two dogs Surrey and Kim. I have become one of those Floridians that I use to laugh at. All bundled up when it is 70 degrees outside. Seriously, coat, mittens, and scarf. Funny how life changes.
