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– Hold solid eye contact with everyone as much as possible.
– Speak with sincerity and passion
The way you move is your autobiography.
How to intrigue everyone without saying a word
You only have 10 seconds to show your somebody
First nine techniques–come across as a special person without saying anything
- Smile big at the right time.
Women who were slower to smile in the corporate world are perceived as more credible.
The flooding smile: when meeting someone, don’t smile right away. Pause for a moment, then let a big flooding smile go over your mouth and eyes. This will give them the impression that the smile is more genuine
- Use your eyes–strong eye contact gives the impression of respect and affection. It also gives the impression of being an abstract thinker. The sticky eyes technique: hold your gaze as much as possible. When talking about personal matters with another men, hold your gaze a little less.
- The epoxy see eyes technique: hold gaze on the subject even when another party is speaking. Conveys intense confidence and interest in the subject. Use with caution.
- Watch your posture whenever you walk through a doorway. Hold your head high, your shoulders back, and your torso out. This will convey confidence and command respect.
- the big baby pit it-turn your full body toward a new acquaintance and smile
- Hello old friend-pretend that the person you are meeting is an old friend
When you act as though you like someone, you actually like them more. Respect begets respect.
- Don’t fidget. It undermines your credibility.
- Read body language cues from your audience
- Visualize yourself as a somebody, And it will happen automatically
- Match your listener’s mood
- Use banal, unoriginal conversation topics to lighten the mood and decrease suspicion. But don’t be indifferent. Speak with sincerity and passion
- Wear something that will cause people to ask “what is it” this will make you more approachable. Similarly make a habit of noticing things that ask what is it on other
- Ask “who is that” to get introduced to someone you want to meet. Try to learn about their interests.
- Ask excuse me I couldn’t help but hear… When you were trying to talk to somebody in another conversation.
- Never answer “where are you from?” from with a one-word response. Think of something interesting about where you are from to tell them.
- The same applies to what do you do? Always give them a hint as to what type of work you do where you work, etc.
- This also applies to your name never introduce somebody to someone else without giving them an idea of who the other person is or what they do. Never just give a naked introduction. Share something interesting about the person.
- Be a word detective. Listen to clues and what the other person is telling you for topics of conversation.
- Keep the focus of the spot of the conversation (the spotlight on them
- Be a parrot. To keep the conversation going, repeat the last 2-3 words the person told you, in an inquisitive way
- Ask for an encore. Ask a friend to tell a story to start a good conversation.
- Accentuate the positives. Tell people something positive about yourself. Leave the embarrassing story behind.
- The latest news. Always be up on the latest news whenever you are going to a party, meeting, or important conversation. This makes for good conversational fodder.
- Ask how do you spend most of your time, not what do you do.
- When answering what do you do, tell them what you actually do that could benefit them or what they might be interested in
- Decide which words in your vocabulary you use too much. Grab a thesaurus and look up alternatives. Read the list of alternatives and decide which ones come the most naturally to you.
Look up words you used to often in a thesaurus and find richer, fuller synonyms of those words.
Using rich full words will make you sound more intelligent and creative.
- Avoid the quick ” me too.” Let the other person discuss his or her interest before you reveal you share the same
- Start your sentences with “you.” (i.e. “you look great” vs. “that dress looks great”)
- The Exclusive smile: alter your smile slightly during different encounters to seem more genuine.
- Never use clichés.
- Use catchy phrases.
- Avoid euphemisms: anatomy, adjectives etc.
- Never make a joke at someone else’s expense.
- When you share the same sentiment as your receiver.
- When someone asks an unwelcome question, respond to them in an objective matter and repeat the same answer if prodded.
- If you have to talk to a celebrity, here’s what you say. “Your work has been an inspiration for me or pleasure for me over the years. Or for the CEO “it is a pleasure to work at your company.”
- Try adding something specific to the words “thank you.”
- Do something different. Do things that get you out of your comfort zone that will give you things to talk about when the conversation arises.
- Learn a few insider opening questions for various industries to sound intelligent in mixed company.
- Find out what the hot button issues are in different relevant industries.
- Read other people’s industry blogs and publications.
- Read about foreign customs before traveling.
- Learn industry lingo.
- Imitate the style of movement of successful people. As well as those you wish to win over.
- Use the specific words that other people use.
- Use relevant analogies with your audience.
- Don’t just say mhmm when listening
- Use anatomically correct empathizers Use
- Four levels of intimacy: clichés, opinions, feelings, and the use of We. In order to gain intimacy, use we sooner then you might otherwise
- Think of special moments you shared with people to make it an inside joke.
- Compliment people behind their back
- Pass along good news and complements that other people will want to hear
- Implied magnificence: imply good taste or some good quality when you are talking to someone
- Accidental adulation: slide a inadvertent complement into your conversation, I.e. you’re too young to remember or wouldn’t be a problem for someone as fit as you.
- Killer complement: complement somebody directly only using something specific and personal
- Give people small praise when they accomplish something
- Make sure you give praise immediately after they do something
- When you receive a compliment, boomerang the praise back to them by saying “how nice of you, thanks”
- Ask them what they would want written on their tombstone. Later, use that trait as a complement to them.
- Audible gestures: when speaking over the phone be sure to give affirmation
- Use their name frequently when speaking over the phone to invite closeness
When answering the phone, have a neutral tone at first, then be very happy when they say their name.
- Sneaky screen: have your gatekeeper first say, “yes, right away,” then come back on the line and give the bad news.
- Win over the gatekeeper and/or the spouse
- Always ask “did I catch you at a good time?”
- Keep your voicemail greeting short and updated
- Leave a confident, clear, and credible voice message. Even better, make it entertaining.
A voicemail is like a 10 second audition to get a callback.
- Use the pronoun “he or she” when trying to get past the gate keeper. This will make you think that this is normal.
- If you hear their phone ringing, be sure to let them answer it.
Remember other countries’ holidays when dealing with people from there.
- Record conversations?
Go through the “who what when where why” checklist before going to a party.
- Don’t eat at the party. This will make you more approachable.
- When you enter a room, pause in the door frame and scan the room.
- Be the chooser not the choosy. Choose who you want to talk to at the gathering.
- When at a gathering, keep an open posture, including open hands wrists. Stand in a clearing or near a doorway so other people will pass by you.
- Tracking: keep track of the last conversation you had with people ask them about their recent trip, their kids, their pets, or whatever else you were talking about with them.
- Make notes after conversations with people to remember their favorite things, upcoming events, and things you talked about with them.
- Monitor your audience’s body language and adapt your delivery and message accordingly.
- Ignore other people’s bloopers and mistakes.
- If someone story gets interrupted, remind them to continue after the commotion ends.
- For any deal or meeting, always tell the other party what’s in it for them (WIIFM) and what’s in it for you (WIIFY).
- When someone asks someone else to pull a favor for you, wait at least a day to get in touch with them.
- Don’t cash in on favor reciprocity right away.
83., 84., 85. Avoid hard negotiating or negative business talk at dinners, parties, and during chance encounters.
- When someone has something urgent to say, let them empty their tank before you jump in.
- Echo the emotion of someone who is upset. Avoid using facts.
- If you break someone’s else’s thing, replace it immediately, ideally with something nicer.
- If you catch someone messing up, let them save face.
- Send a nice email about an employee to their boss to get good service.
- Be the first one to clap for or congratulate someone.
- Pay attention to the scorecard between you and other people, and don’t overstep your bounds.
Shout out to lifeofjansen.com for doing this written summary
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