0

Alex Bonett: Pilot or Passenger Summary by


  • Look at the World through the eyes of a five-year-old.

Introduction

EMBRACE AND LEARN FROM LIFE’S CHALLENGES TO CREATE A BETTER TOMORROW

  • What we have most in common is that we are all on a journey with an infinite number of possible destinations…sometimes the ride gets choppy and we feel out of control.
  • Stop and ask yourself this question: On your life’s flight path, are you the Pilot or Passenger?
  • Many people go through life as Passengers.
  • His can be comfortable, of course, and there’s safety in numbers. But the reality is that the people who settle for being Passengers abdicate their responsibility for their life’s journey.
  • Today is your day! Grab it with both hands. You’re clear for takeoff!
  • Your Flight Path
  • What is a flight path? The details differ for every person, but every flight path covers these six stages: Reflect-Think-Learn-Plan-Act-Achieve.
  • It doesn’t matter how important you think you are…cemeteries are fill of irreplaceable people.
  • Never allow emotions to overrule logic.
  • How easily we can kid ourselves into seeing what we want to see and ignore the obvious signs of danger.
  • The lure of money, position and ego is tempting.
  • Life is a journey we should enjoy. If you focus on the wrong areas and plan to enjoy life later, later may never come.
  • Life is about choices.
  • Everyone sells something for a living, even if they’re selling themselves. We’re all in the persuasion business.
  • If you understand, accept and embrace some basic truths, and follow some simple principles without complicating things too much, you can enjoy the career and life you’ve always wanted.
  • Most of us attach the greatest importance to the wrong parts of our lives and careers. We keep our noses to the grindstone and think that’s going to bring us what we want, but we often end up with skinned noses and empty lives.
  • Money is a tool to help us get the greatest joy out of life. Don’t let life get in the way of living.
  • If you’re not careful, you may find yourself being a passenger through life arriving safely to death! You can easily get sucked into the Matrix. You might but things to assuage your unhappiness and to anaesthetise yourself. You start out as a “gonna”, as in, “I’m gonna do that one day.” But as you get older, you become a “shoulda”, as in, “I shoulda done that when I was still young enough.” Then one day, you die. You’re cautionary tale.
  • You have to go through a lot of rubble in order to find the gems.
  • Face reality and make choices that bring you joy and fulfillment.
  • If it was easy, everyone would be doing it.

RAW FACT #1: IF YOU’RE NOT IN THE RIGHT HEADSPACE, YOU’RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE FAST

  • “To see and plan your future, we must first remove our mental clutter and internal limitations.”
  • Your headspace is the way you interpret, rationalise, respond to and react to the things that happen to you.
  • Recreate your headspace by following this four-step process.
  • Take ownership of the situation.
  • Take stock of the present.
  • Define your purpose and passion.
  • Redesign your goals.
  • When money becomes your reason for doing what you do, then you have a problem. Money should be the outcome of work; not the reason or purpose for work.
  • Your career is the vehicle for generating income to invest or build something with, in order to create the wealth you will need to live the future lifestyle you want.
  • If money is your “why”, then you could be living a life devoid of meaning or purpose, and no person can live that way.
  • Becoming the Pilot of your life’s journey stars with examining and recalibrating your headspace.
  • Think of your headspace as the navigational compass in your heart and head.
  • To calibrate that internal compass correctly, you need four essential tools-four cornerstones to use as the foundations of your mind:
  • A Positive Attitude
  • Vision
  • Self-Belief
  • Focus
  • A Positive Attitude
  • The sun is always shining above the clouds.
  • A negative attitude becomes negative self-talk, and soon you’ll convince yourself that you can’t do anything. That’s what psychologists call “learned helplessness.”
  • Your attitude is your position relative to the other things in your world. How you navigate through them will determine where you end up.
  • Vision
  • Firstly, you need to have a mental picture of what can be. What do you want to achieve? What’s your destination? Dream it, see it, desire it and make it happen.
  • Close your eyes and see what you want your future to look like.
  • Beliefs are the operating system of the mind. They purr along beneath conscious thoughts and emotions. Basically, beliefs define three things:
  • The kind of person you are.
  • The world you live in.
  • How you interact with that world.
  • You will never accomplish more than your beliefs allow you to.
  • You’ve got to believe you have what it takes to achieve your goals.
  • Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right. (Henry Ford)
  • If you want to believe in yourself, you must get rid of your negative beliefs.
  • Catch every negative thought that comes into your mind and spit it out! Reinvent your belief system by finding new, positive examples or role models who are achieving exactly what want to achieve. Show your brain that it’s possible. Get new points of reference to what is achievable. “If they can, so can I!”
  • Another way to challenger and change limiting beliefs is to take risks. Risk is the fuel of change and, as in finance, the greater the risk, the greater the reward.
  • Focused but Flexible
  • A laser focus on what you want.
  • To arrive at your destination of choice, you need to stay focused and in control, and that means being in that Pilot’s seat.

  • Take control of where your attention goes and you become a Pilot.
  • Remember, the overwhelming majority of successful people are more than happy to share their knowledge and experience to teach you to fly.
  • Write your goals, and rewrite them daily – or at least read them daily. Stamp them deep into your brain cells and visualise the joy of the achievement you strive for. Keep them top of mind.
  • Become the gatekeeper of your mind and keep out the garbage.

RAW FACT #2: TO KNOW WHAT’S NEXT, KNOW YOUR GAP

  • Dare to dream and imagine what could be and then work on bridging the gap.
  • Most people, if they are honest with themselves, would agree that there is a gap between where they are now and where they would like to be. There are periods in our lives when the gap is small; at other times, it can seem an unbridgeable chasm.
  • To know what’s next, you have to know your gap.
  • Life is like a dance, and we’re constantly evolving and moving to keep up with the music as it changes.
  • The difference between where you are today and where you want to be in two, five or 10 years is your gap. Identifying your gap is critical to having the life and career you want.
  • Having a gap is healthy. It means you aspire to something. You’re not “tiptoeing through life safely to death.”
  • Adaptation Principle: Basically, it says that we quickly become used to our current state, whatever it is. Good or bad, we adapt to it and it becomes our new normal.
  • Many people today are living lives that other people seeded for them years ago.
  • By the time many of us realise we’ve been conditioned, we feel it’s too late or too hard to change.
  • It’s easy to allow mediocrity – that feeling of good enough – to lull us into complacency.
  • The secret to discovering the scope and nature of your gap is finding your true levels of desire and dissatisfaction.
  • There are only two real motivators in life: Pleasure and Pain.
  • We strive to acquire pleasure or avoid pain.
  • The fact is, pain is a greater motivator than pleasure.
  • We fear pain more than we desire pleasure.
  • The desire to avoid a financial loss is twice as strong as the pleasure we get from a financial gain.
  • Finding your true dissatisfaction level is all about seeing what is blocking you or causing you pain and why.
  • Bridging Your Gap
  • P. Morgan said, “The wise man bridges the gap by laying out the path by means of which he can get from where he is to where he wants to go.” Once you have identified the gap in your life and career, you need to create a plan to build a bridge across that chasm.
  • Bridging your gap will take time.
  • Every huge bridge is made up of hundreds of smaller spans.
  • Some principles to bridge the gap
    • Knowledge is your most important tool.
    • Don’t focus on material outcomes.
    • Be realistic.
    • Break it down into milestones.
    • Give yourself a deadline.
  • Realise that there’s only one constant in your circle, and that’s you. The others will come and go. The circle you have today is most likely different from the circle you had 10 or 15 years ago, right? It will change again over time, but be mindful of who you allow into your circle.
  • The Million-Dollar Question
  • Who do I know who has already bridged this gap and how can that person be a role model for my journey?

RAW FACT #3: ALWAYS START WTH THE END IN MIND

  • Reverse engineer your goals and dreams, and set your way points.
  • The truth is that nothing happens overnight. Success in career, health, life and relationships is a matter of small changes and smart choices made consistently and determinedly over years.
  • Destiny = Goal + Time + Effort
  • Destiny is nothing more than a goal attached to a timeframe.
  • To get where you want to go, always plan with the end in mind.
  • Those who enjoy extraordinary success take action to reverse engineer their lives, looking at where they want to be at a certain point in the future and working backwards from there.
  • We regret the things we don’t do far more than the things we do.
  • The acronym for FEAR is: False Evidence Appearing Real, and fear will cripple you.
  • Self-talk becomes self-belief. Your beliefs will shape your thinking and your thoughts will become your actions.
  • Fake is till you make it.
  • Future Pacing

  • The greatest power source comes from your own internal motivation, your positive mindset.
  • We spend so much mental energy and time worrying about things we can’t control that we sometimes forget to control the things we can control; the things you can control that bring you pleasure and make your days more positive, productive and enjoyable.
  • Be aware of what you can’t control but focus on what you can control.
  • When building your plan, here are the steps I suggest you follow:
    • Keep your eye on the prize
    • Figure out what it’s going to take to get to that destination
    • Figure out the resources you’ll need
    • You’ll also need allies
    • Make your calendar
    • Finally, create an accountability structure
  • Everything starts with a thought, an idea…a dream. Everything!
  • Small measures and small changes, wrought consistently over time, can move mountains.
  • RAW FACT #4: YOUR BRAIN WILL TAKE YOU WHERE YOU POINT IT

  • To get results, we literally have to pay attention.
  • Attention is currency we use to buy the outcomes we desire.
  • Attention is precious, and so much hinges on how you spend your limited supply. What you pay attention to is what you will get.
  • Your brain will take you where you point it.
  • If you want to make happen the future you desire, you have to dedicate your attention to actions and outcomes that will make that future a reality. Whatever you choose to give your attention to will be what you get in the end.
  • Where the brain goes, results follow.
  • The famous sixth-century Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu wrote: “Watch your thoughts. They become words. Watch your words. They become deeds. Watch your deeds. They become habits. Watch your habits. They become character. Character is everything.
  • The state of being consciously aware of one’s own thinking is called metacognition, and it’s one of the most valuable skills you can cultivate.
  • The trouble is as much as toxic people can fill our minds with negativity, we do as much damage to ourselves by embracing distracted, unconscious behaviour.
  • Apart from unconscious behaviour and unquestioning acceptance of assumptions, the other great enemy of mindfulness and attention is procrastination. Our culture of distraction isn’t only about the avoidance of inner silence and contemplation; it’s about wasting time and delaying action.
  • Successful people are the opposite of procrastinators. They are “initiators”, people who take action quickly once the desire strikes.
  • If you act on an idea or desire now, before your brain can compel you to procrastinate, you’re much more likely to follow through and use your time wisely.
  • Do whatever you must to force yourself into new habits.
  • The opportunities you’ve been waiting for have always been waiting for YOU.
  • There’s an old saying: “Luck favours the prepared.” When you’re prepared to notice and capitalise on opportunities, you’ll be shocked at how lucky you become.
  • If the want is strong enough, the how will happen.
  • RAW FACT #5: THINK LIKE A CHILD AND OPEN YOUR MIND

  • If you think you know it all, you’ll miss it all. You see, when you think you know everything, you’ll never learn anything.
  • If you think you know it all, you miss it all. And, if you really want to start learning, start thinking like a child again.
  • If you’re not learning, you’re not growing. If you’re not growing, you’re dying!
  • The more people laughing at you, ridiculing your ideas or admonishing you for asking questions, the more you are on the road to success.
  • Only 20 percent of the population produces the innovations and daring ideas that determine how the other 80 percent live. The majority influences the minority, but the minority reshapes the world.
  • Nothing is a self-evident success immediately. If you’re truly outside your comfort zone, you’re going to fail as often as you succeed.
  • The secret to making progress lies in how you frame your failures. Are they examples of your incompetence, or are they inevitable road kill on the highway of life?
  • The turtle only makes progress when it sticks its neck out.
  • Those who stop are the ones who ask, “Why?” Those who persist are the ones who ask, “Why not?”
  • 20 percent of your activities will account for 80 percent of your happiness. Also, 20 percent of your actions will produce 80 percent of your outcomes.
  • Your values are beliefs about yourself are products of your environment. They determine your thoughts, and your thoughts manifest in your behaviour. If you want to change your behaviour first rebuild your beliefs about what you’re capable of.
  • Your actions stem from thoughts, and thoughts rise from your beliefs and conditioning.
  • RAW FACT #6: YOU CAN LIE TO OTHERS, BUT DON’T LIE TO YOURSELF

  • Stop lying to yourself. When we deny our own truth, we deny our own potential. (Steve Maraboli)
  • Most people who tippy-toeing through life safely to death take on a victim mentality to cover their refusal to take ownership of their choices.
  • Remember them a sharp slap to the back of the head as a wake-up call. Remember: we have choice. You can choose to take stock, take ownership and take the controls.
  • Remove disempowering statements form your vocabulary. “If it’s to be, It’s up to me.”
  • Effective, successful people don’t make excuses. They create solutions. They are the solution.
  • RAW FACT #7: KNOWLEDGE WITHOUT ACTION IS WORTHLESS

  • “Knowledge isn’t life changing. The application of knowledge is.” (Ted Stockor)
  • “Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do.” (Johann Wolfgang von Goethe)
  • People mistake the gathering of knowledge for action.
  • If the want is strong enough, the how will happen.
  • If you want to change things, you have to take ownership, figure out where you’re going, work out how to get there and take action over and over again.
  • If you want to achieve, you need to ensure your actions are meaningful. What is meaning action? It’s action that contributes to your overall plan by moving your forward.
  • Genuine meaningful action is risky yet exhilarating. It reflects the best parts of your personality; your passion, commitment and creativity.
  • The subconscious mind never sleeps. It’s always working. It’s the engine room of the self, always looking for solutions and opportunities.
  • Until you use your subconscious to engage your emotions, you won’t act.
  • Ponder and answer these questions:
  • What do I really want my life to look like in five-years?
  • What’s the gap between where I am now and where I want to be-emotionally, psychologically, financially and in terms of skills and knowledge?
  • What choices have gotten me to where I am today, and what choices must I make to take me in the direction of what I want?
  • Remember, the only difference between a dream and a goal is a date. “A goal is a dream with a deadline” may be a cliché, but like many clichés, it’s also true.
  • A terrific goal-setting format is SMART goals, Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Tangible.
  • The biggest is the fear of the unknown. We prefer known misery to the unknown potential for joy! It’s twisted.
  • Eighty percent of the people in this world are Passengers. They’re perfectly content to let someone else be in control of their journey, because either they don’t feel worthy of taking the controls or they’re too frightened or lazy.
  • THE MILLION-DOLLAR QUESTION
  • What DO I want more than anything? What’s the thing I simply can’t NOT do?
  • TOOL & TIPS
  • Grab a pen. Fast-forward five years in your mind and visualise your world. Write that letter to your friend, and turn it into your flight plan by reverse engineering it. Then make it happen. Remember, if the want is strong enough, the how will happen.
  • Tools: Don’t over complicate them – all you need is a pen, paper and clear mind!
  • Tips: Just do it NOW. Plan the flight and Fly the plan. Keep your eye on the prize and visualise how great it’s going to be when you get there.
  • Email alex@alexbonett.com

 

Leave a Reply

Scroll to top